**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
I arrived at the terminal a little early the morning of my interview. It doesn’t matter that I have been actively around airplanes and airports for the last four years, I still love to watch them taxi, take off and land. Even just sitting there on the tarmac, they are a site to behold.
NUMBER 1:
I made my way into the terminal and was greeted by a friendly receptionist. I let her know that I was there to meet with Mr. Ali about the job interview for a first officer position. As I sat in the waiting area, I went over in my head all kinds of things that I hoped to discuss with Mr. Ali, but mostly I was trying to calm my nerves just a tad.
After a few minutes, a tall, dark haired, well-dressed man made his way over and approached me. He extended his hand and said with a smile, “I am Javvid Ali. You must be Carmen.”
I accepted his handshake and smiled in greeting as I said, “Yes sir I am, but you can call me Sis.” I followed him to a nice, spacious office and sat down in a small seating area with him.
“Sis, would you like something to drink?” he graciously offered.
I declined by saying, “No sir, I am fine, but I appreciate the offer.”
Mr. Ali glanced down at my printed resume. “Sis, you have really fast tracked your training over the last four years.” He observed. “I am impressed. What particularly about this job interests you?”
I paused for just a second, because I didn’t want to get my thoughts jumbled, but I already knew exactly what I wanted to say to this. “Well, sir, there are actually a lot of great points that this particular job has. To me, the charter industry seems to be the most exciting that there is. I feel like the opportunity to meet new people would not only be fun, but would also be resourceful for someone young like myself, with the whole world in front of me. I also am interested in the part of the listing that said I could possibly gain my ATP rating through experience with your company because while I have the hours, I don’t currently have the required rating because of my age.”
Mr. Ali nodded, “Yes, that is definitely an appealing feature for a young man like yourself. It is also appealing for us a business too. Us training young, raw and good talent not only benefits your future career, it benefits us as a company as well.” “As an addition to that thinking, where do you see yourself five years down the road?” he asked.
I leaned forward as I answered. I didn’t want Mr. Ali to get the wrong idea about my intentions. “Well, obviously I am interested in getting this rating, that could set me up for numerous jobs in the industry. I am also interested in the possibility of getting international hours as an employee of your company. From the ad, I assumed that was a possibility, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Mr. Ali agreed, “we serve several international clients and that is certainly a possibility”.
I continued my answer to his previous question, “That is great! But in response to where I see myself in five years, I would say the sky is the limit (no pun intended). Of course, I may use my opportunities here to move myself into a different sector of the business, but in all honesty, if this job seems like the great fit that I am thinking it may be, I may just retire from here.”
Mr. Ali smiled and said, “Sis, I think you are a smart young lady and really, the world is your oyster, like they say. You keep thinking and acting like that, and you will do big things with your career.” “I am sure of it,” he added with a grin. “So I see from your resume you have the required certifications, minus the ATP like we just discussed, tell me a little bit about your certificate journey and what you are currently doing. What makes you qualified for this position,” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
This subject is always fun for me to explain because I am proud of the work I have put in to be a pilot. “I began my training at a private flight school in Winder, GA when I was 17. I wasn’t a typical high school student. I did my schoolwork and obtained my high school diploma strictly online from the time I was in 7th grade until I graduated,” I explained. “Wow, that does sound not so typical. What led you to online school,” he wanted to know.
“Well, to begin with, I used to race dirt bikes – “
“Dirt bikes!” exclaimed Mr. Ali. “Wow, that sounds fun! So apparently you have always been drawn a little to the extreme, huh,” he mused.
I laughed, “yes, I supposed so.” I explained a little more about what brought me to online school and went on to tell him how I once trained full time for my racing and online school gave me the flexibility to do that. “Around my senior year though, I decided to cut back some on that and that was a great time to start on something I had wanted to do my whole life, which was to get my pilot’s license.” “So,” I explained, instead of doing dual enrollment, or applying to collages, I went once or twice a week to the airport and started my journey.”
Mr. Ali nodded emphatically, “I am very impressed with that. I think that is a great way to start out your career, and you really have done in a few short years what it takes some many to do. I can see that happened for you because you are focused. What other attributes do you think your life experiences have given you?” he wanted to know.
I was hoping he would head in this direction, as this was an easy answer for me. “My life experiences have given me a lot of great attributes. My online school experience started at a time when both of my parents were working full time outside the house and I stayed home alone to complete my coursework during the day. Just learning how to cook my own lunch was interesting at first, but it was just one small step in the self-motivation skills I would need to accomplish school at home with no parent supervision.”
“Yes,” agreed Mr. Ali, “and just you being able to get that done is big at such a young age.”
“Yes sir, I had many days when I would rather goof off than sit down and do school, but I was very motivated. I liked being at home versus being in a brick and mortar school, and the deal I cut with my parents was if I didn’t give it my all, back I would go.”
Mr. Ali seemed impressed. “That is very smart of your parents, and of you too, Sis,” he said. “You are definitely qualified for this position, and being such a young self-starter is really impressive to me.”
“Thank you sir,” I nodded. I was glad that he had noticed this because I think it is such an important part of who I am and how my life has evolved.
“Sis, handling challenges is a very important part of one’s career life. How do you handle challenges, and what do you see in this job in particular being a challenge for you?” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
“I think we’ve already discussed one of the most challenging things I have ever done and that was my online school journey. It was rewarding, to be able to do so much on my own, but it certainly had many challenges,” I told him. I continued on about some of my challenges from racing. “When I raced and trained full time, I lived at a training facility during the week. This was before I had a driver’s license. My parents would take me and drop me off Monday and pick me up Thursday or Friday. It was challenging to plan my day to where I got on and off the bike training in, nutrition, and school work done. And of course, I was a teenager and wanted to socialize too.”
“That sounds like a big responsibility for a young teen,” Mr. Ali noted. I agreed, “it certainly was, but it paid off. In 2021, I went to the armature national championships and won one of my classes and got 2nd in the other one. It was a very amazing time for me and my family, but it never would have happened without discipline and hard work.”
“Sis, that is truly impressive. You seem like you have led such an interesting life so far. Dirt bikes, airplanes, and freedom at…how old are you in 7th grade? Twelve?” he laughed. I was laughing too.
“Yes sir, it has truly been a great ride so far. And I am looking forward to possibly continuing here with Atlas Air. It seems like yes, there will be challenges here, or anywhere that I possibly would work, but I think through my formal experiences with flying as well as my life experiences, I would be able to tackle anything that comes at me.”
Mr. Ali stood up and I followed suit. “Sis,” he said, “you may just replace that guy on TV as ‘the most interesting man in the world’”
I laughed and extended my hand to him. As we shook I said, “no sir, I doubt that, but I have truly lived a great life so far, and I am hoping that my next chapter could be as a pilot with Atlas Air.”
“Well son,” he said, “I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and hearing about your experiences and I will certainly be in touch soon.”
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Ali,” I said before I exited his office.
I wandered back to the parking lot and took a detour around to the observation deck one last time. A large 747 was taxing towards the runway, and I stood and watched, hoping that soon I would be the one in that cockpit.
Glows:
1. The candidate demonstrated confidence and passion for aviation throughout the interview.
2. The candidate effectively explained their training, experiences, and qualifications for the first officer position.
Grows:
1. The candidate could have provided more specific examples or stories to showcase their problem-solving abilities and adaptability.
2. The candidate could improve by providing more details about how they would handle potential challenges in the first officer role and how their past experiences have prepared them for the position.
**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Grammar and Mechanics:
Beginning learners may struggle with basic grammar rules and punctuation, resulting in errors such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense inconsistency, or comma splices.
Distinguished learners, on the other hand, showcase a high level of grammatical accuracy, demonstrating a strong command of sentence structure, punctuation, and overall mechanics.
Vocabulary and Word Choice:
Beginning learners might rely on basic and repetitive vocabulary, lacking the depth and precision of language. They may struggle to choose appropriate words to convey their ideas effectively.
Distinguished learners, conversely, utilize a diverse range of vocabulary, incorporating nuanced and sophisticated language choices to enhance their writing and express complex concepts more precisely.
Organization and Cohesion:
Beginning learners often present disorganized and disjointed writing, lacking clear transitions between ideas and coherent paragraph structure. They may struggle to develop a logical flow of information or maintain a consistent focus throughout the text. Distinguished learners, on the other hand, demonstrate well-structured and cohesive writing, effectively organizing their ideas with smooth transitions and maintaining a clear and engaging progression of thought.
Evidence and Support:
Beginning learners may provide limited or weak evidence to support their claims or arguments. They may struggle to cite relevant examples or incorporate textual evidence to substantiate their ideas.
In contrast, distinguished learners excel at providing strong and compelling evidence, drawing from a variety of reliable sources and effectively integrating supporting details to reinforce their arguments or viewpoints.
Critical Thinking and Analysis:
Beginning learners often display limited critical thinking skills, offering superficial analysis or demonstrating a narrow understanding of the topic. They may struggle to go beyond surface-level observations or fail to provide insightful interpretations.
Distinguished learners exhibit a higher level of critical thinking, engaging in thoughtful analysis, drawing connections, and offering deeper insights into the subject matter.
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
I arrived at the terminal a little early the morning of my interview. It doesn’t matter that I have been actively around airplanes and airports for the last four years, I still love to watch them taxi, take off and land. Even just sitting there on the tarmac, they are a site to behold.
NUMBER 1:
I made my way into the terminal and was greeted by a friendly receptionist. I let her know that I was there to meet with Mr. Ali about the job interview for a first officer position. As I sat in the waiting area, I went over in my head all kinds of things that I hoped to discuss with Mr. Ali, but mostly I was trying to calm my nerves just a tad.
After a few minutes, a tall, dark haired, well-dressed man made his way over and approached me. He extended his hand and said with a smile, “I am Javvid Ali. You must be Carmen.”
I accepted his handshake and smiled in greeting as I said, “Yes sir I am, but you can call me Sis.” I followed him to a nice, spacious office and sat down in a small seating area with him.
“Sis, would you like something to drink?” he graciously offered.
I declined by saying, “No sir, I am fine, but I appreciate the offer.”
Mr. Ali glanced down at my printed resume. “Sis, you have really fast tracked your training over the last four years.” He observed. “I am impressed. What particularly about this job interests you?”
I paused for just a second, because I didn’t want to get my thoughts jumbled, but I already knew exactly what I wanted to say to this. “Well, sir, there are actually a lot of great points that this particular job has. To me, the charter industry seems to be the most exciting that there is. I feel like the opportunity to meet new people would not only be fun, but would also be resourceful for someone young like myself, with the whole world in front of me. I also am interested in the part of the listing that said I could possibly gain my ATP rating through experience with your company because while I have the hours, I don’t currently have the required rating because of my age.”
Mr. Ali nodded, “Yes, that is definitely an appealing feature for a young man like yourself. It is also appealing for us a business too. Us training young, raw and good talent not only benefits your future career, it benefits us as a company as well.” “As an addition to that thinking, where do you see yourself five years down the road?” he asked.
I leaned forward as I answered. I didn’t want Mr. Ali to get the wrong idea about my intentions. “Well, obviously I am interested in getting this rating, that could set me up for numerous jobs in the industry. I am also interested in the possibility of getting international hours as an employee of your company. From the ad, I assumed that was a possibility, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Mr. Ali agreed, “we serve several international clients and that is certainly a possibility”.
I continued my answer to his previous question, “That is great! But in response to where I see myself in five years, I would say the sky is the limit (no pun intended). Of course, I may use my opportunities here to move myself into a different sector of the business, but in all honesty, if this job seems like the great fit that I am thinking it may be, I may just retire from here.”
Mr. Ali smiled and said, “Sis, I think you are a smart young lady and really, the world is your oyster, like they say. You keep thinking and acting like that, and you will do big things with your career.” “I am sure of it,” he added with a grin. “So I see from your resume you have the required certifications, minus the ATP like we just discussed, tell me a little bit about your certificate journey and what you are currently doing. What makes you qualified for this position,” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
This subject is always fun for me to explain because I am proud of the work I have put in to be a pilot. “I began my training at a private flight school in Winder, GA when I was 17. I wasn’t a typical high school student. I did my schoolwork and obtained my high school diploma strictly online from the time I was in 7th grade until I graduated,” I explained. “Wow, that does sound not so typical. What led you to online school,” he wanted to know.
“Well, to begin with, I used to race dirt bikes – “
“Dirt bikes!” exclaimed Mr. Ali. “Wow, that sounds fun! So apparently you have always been drawn a little to the extreme, huh,” he mused.
I laughed, “yes, I supposed so.” I explained a little more about what brought me to online school and went on to tell him how I once trained full time for my racing and online school gave me the flexibility to do that. “Around my senior year though, I decided to cut back some on that and that was a great time to start on something I had wanted to do my whole life, which was to get my pilot’s license.” “So,” I explained, instead of doing dual enrollment, or applying to collages, I went once or twice a week to the airport and started my journey.”
Mr. Ali nodded emphatically, “I am very impressed with that. I think that is a great way to start out your career, and you really have done in a few short years what it takes some many to do. I can see that happened for you because you are focused. What other attributes do you think your life experiences have given you?” he wanted to know.
I was hoping he would head in this direction, as this was an easy answer for me. “My life experiences have given me a lot of great attributes. My online school experience started at a time when both of my parents were working full time outside the house and I stayed home alone to complete my coursework during the day. Just learning how to cook my own lunch was interesting at first, but it was just one small step in the self-motivation skills I would need to accomplish school at home with no parent supervision.”
“Yes,” agreed Mr. Ali, “and just you being able to get that done is big at such a young age.”
“Yes sir, I had many days when I would rather goof off than sit down and do school, but I was very motivated. I liked being at home versus being in a brick and mortar school, and the deal I cut with my parents was if I didn’t give it my all, back I would go.”
Mr. Ali seemed impressed. “That is very smart of your parents, and of you too, Sis,” he said. “You are definitely qualified for this position, and being such a young self-starter is really impressive to me.”
“Thank you sir,” I nodded. I was glad that he had noticed this because I think it is such an important part of who I am and how my life has evolved.
“Sis, handling challenges is a very important part of one’s career life. How do you handle challenges, and what do you see in this job in particular being a challenge for you?” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
“I think we’ve already discussed one of the most challenging things I have ever done and that was my online school journey. It was rewarding, to be able to do so much on my own, but it certainly had many challenges,” I told him. I continued on about some of my challenges from racing. “When I raced and trained full time, I lived at a training facility during the week. This was before I had a driver’s license. My parents would take me and drop me off Monday and pick me up Thursday or Friday. It was challenging to plan my day to where I got on and off the bike training in, nutrition, and school work done. And of course, I was a teenager and wanted to socialize too.”
“That sounds like a big responsibility for a young teen,” Mr. Ali noted. I agreed, “it certainly was, but it paid off. In 2021, I went to the armature national championships and won one of my classes and got 2nd in the other one. It was a very amazing time for me and my family, but it never would have happened without discipline and hard work.”
“Sis, that is truly impressive. You seem like you have led such an interesting life so far. Dirt bikes, airplanes, and freedom at…how old are you in 7th grade? Twelve?” he laughed. I was laughing too.
“Yes sir, it has truly been a great ride so far. And I am looking forward to possibly continuing here with Atlas Air. It seems like yes, there will be challenges here, or anywhere that I possibly would work, but I think through my formal experiences with flying as well as my life experiences, I would be able to tackle anything that comes at me.”
Mr. Ali stood up and I followed suit. “Sis,” he said, “you may just replace that guy on TV as ‘the most interesting man in the world’”
I laughed and extended my hand to him. As we shook I said, “no sir, I doubt that, but I have truly lived a great life so far, and I am hoping that my next chapter could be as a pilot with Atlas Air.”
“Well son,” he said, “I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and hearing about your experiences and I will certainly be in touch soon.”
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Ali,” I said before I exited his office.
I wandered back to the parking lot and took a detour around to the observation deck one last time. A large 747 was taxing towards the runway, and I stood and watched, hoping that soon I would be the one in that cockpit.
**Grammar and Mechanics:**
Glows:
1. The candidate uses appropriate punctuation throughout the text.
2. The candidate demonstrates a good command of sentence structure and verb tense consistency.
Grows:
1. There is a comma splice in the sentence "I declined by saying, 'No sir, I am fine, but I appreciate the offer.'"
2. The candidate could work on varying sentence structures to add more complexity and flow to the writing.
**Vocabulary and Word Choice:**
Glows:
1. The candidate uses a variety of vocabulary to convey their thoughts effectively.
2. The candidate incorporates industry-specific terminology related to aviation, showcasing knowledge in the field.
Grows:
1. The candidate could enhance vocabulary further by incorporating more specialized aviation terms or jargon.
2. There is a lack of nuanced language choices that could elevate the writing and make it more engaging.
**Organization and Cohesion:**
Glows:
1. The candidate structures the text with clear transitions between ideas.
2. The candidate maintains a consistent focus on the interview conversation and progresses logically through the narrative.
Grows:
1. The introduction could be strengthened by providing more context or background information about the candidate and the interview.
2. Adding subsections or headings within the text could enhance the organization and make it easier for the reader to follow the conversation flow.
**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Grammar and Mechanics:
Beginning learners may struggle with basic grammar rules and punctuation, resulting in errors such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense inconsistency, or comma splices.
Distinguished learners, on the other hand, showcase a high level of grammatical accuracy, demonstrating a strong command of sentence structure, punctuation, and overall mechanics.
Vocabulary and Word Choice:
Beginning learners might rely on basic and repetitive vocabulary, lacking the depth and precision of language. They may struggle to choose appropriate words to convey their ideas effectively.
Distinguished learners, conversely, utilize a diverse range of vocabulary, incorporating nuanced and sophisticated language choices to enhance their writing and express complex concepts more precisely.
Organization and Cohesion:
Beginning learners often present disorganized and disjointed writing, lacking clear transitions between ideas and coherent paragraph structure. They may struggle to develop a logical flow of information or maintain a consistent focus throughout the text. Distinguished learners, on the other hand, demonstrate well-structured and cohesive writing, effectively organizing their ideas with smooth transitions and maintaining a clear and engaging progression of thought.
Evidence and Support:
Beginning learners may provide limited or weak evidence to support their claims or arguments. They may struggle to cite relevant examples or incorporate textual evidence to substantiate their ideas.
In contrast, distinguished learners excel at providing strong and compelling evidence, drawing from a variety of reliable sources and effectively integrating supporting details to reinforce their arguments or viewpoints.
Critical Thinking and Analysis:
Beginning learners often display limited critical thinking skills, offering superficial analysis or demonstrating a narrow understanding of the topic. They may struggle to go beyond surface-level observations or fail to provide insightful interpretations.
Distinguished learners exhibit a higher level of critical thinking, engaging in thoughtful analysis, drawing connections, and offering deeper insights into the subject matter.
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
I arrived at the terminal a little early the morning of my interview. It doesn’t matter that I have been actively around airplanes and airports for the last four years, I still love to watch them taxi, take off and land. Even just sitting there on the tarmac, they are a site to behold.
NUMBER 2:
As I walked into the lobby of Prophecy Games, Inc, I couldn't help but feel a mix of nerves and excitement. I had always dreamed of working in the gaming industry, and the opportunity to interview for a gameplay programmer position at such a reputable company was a dream come true. This was my first ever job interview at a big company and I want to leave an impression with the interviewer.
The receptionist introduced herself and guided me to the interview room. While on our journey she gave me a good outlook on the company and where offices are located at. Once we reached the interview room where I was greeted by the interviewer, who introduced himself as Mr. Johnson. "Good morning, Mr. Moore," he said, looking up from the paper in front of him. "Thank you for taking the time to come in today. Can you please tell me a bit about why you're interested in this position?"
"Good morning, Mr. Johnson," I replied, trying to keep my nerves in check. "I've always been passionate about the gaming industry and have been working on building my skills and knowledge in the field for a while now. I believe that my background in computer science and my experience in game development make me a strong candidate for the gameplay programmer position here at Prophecy Games. I am excited about the opportunity to work with such a reputable company and contribute to the creation of innovative and immersive gaming experiences."
Mr. Johnson nodded, making notes on the paper in front of him. "What education do you have that would enable you to do this job successfully?" he asked. "I graduated from Georgia Institute of Technology with a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science," I replied. "During my time there, I took several classes that were directly related to game development and programming, such as Game Engine Architecture and Game Design. I also had the opportunity to work on multiple game development projects, both individually and as part of a team. I believe that this education and experience have prepared me well for a career in the gaming industry."
"That's very impressive," Mr. Johnson said, making more notes. "What do you know about the company that makes you want to work here?"
Moore 6
"I've been following Prophecy Games for a while now, and I've been impressed by the quality of the games the company has produced," I said. "I especially admire the company's commitment to innovation and creating immersive gaming experiences. I believe that my skills and experience align well with the company's values and goals, and I would be honored to be a part of the team." Mr. Johnson nodded. "What are some of your best qualities that would enable you to be successful in this position?"
"I am a hardworking and dedicated individual who is always eager to learn and improve," I replied. "I am able to work well both independently and as part of a team, and I am able to handle multiple tasks and projects at once. I am also a creative problem-solver and I enjoy finding new and efficient ways to complete tasks. I am confident that these qualities will enable me to be successful in the gameplay programmer position."
"Can you tell me about a time when you were challenged at a job or in school?" asked Mr. Johnson. I replied, "During my time at Georgia Institute of Technology, I was part of a game development team that was tasked with creating a game within a semester. We ran into many challenges throughout the development process, one of which was time management. We had to balance our coursework with the game development, which was difficult. However, I was able to work well with my team to ensure that we were able to complete our project on time and to a high standard. I believe that this experience has prepared me well for the challenges that I may encounter in this position."
"That's great, Mr. Moises, I appreciate how well you were able to respond to my questions and I’m looking forward to the future of you being a part of the company. “We’ll be in touch" Mr. Johnson said, closing his notebook. I replied with “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be interviewed” as I was getting up from the chair shaking his hand.
**Grammar and Mechanics:**
Glows:
1. The candidate demonstrates proficiency in subject-verb agreement and maintains consistency in verb tenses.
2. The candidate does not have any noticeable comma splices or other major grammatical errors.
Grows:
1. The candidate could vary sentence structures more to add complexity and engagement to the writing.
2. There is an opportunity to incorporate more advanced punctuation techniques, such as the use of em dashes or semicolons, to enhance the flow of the text.
**Vocabulary and Word Choice:**
Glows:
1. The candidate utilizes appropriate terminology related to the gaming industry effectively.
2. The candidate shows some diversity in vocabulary choice to convey thoughts and ideas clearly.
Grows:
1. The candidate could benefit from incorporating more specialized gaming or programming terminology to enhance the specificity of their language.
2. There is a potential to elevate the diction by including more nuanced language choices to make the writing more engaging and precise.
**Organization and Cohesion:**
Glows:
1. The candidate maintains a clear and logical progression throughout the interview narrative.
2. The transitions between paragraphs and ideas are relatively smooth and aid in the overall flow of the text.
Grows:
1. It might be beneficial to introduce a brief introductory paragraph to provide context or background information about the protagonist and their interest in the gaming industry.
2. Adding subsections or headings within the text could help further structure the content and guide the reader through the interview process clearly.
different grows
**Grammar and Mechanics:**
Glows:
1. The candidate effectively uses dialogue punctuation to enhance the authenticity of the interview conversation.
2. The candidate demonstrates proper capitalization throughout the text.
Grows:
1. The candidate could work on using more varied sentence structures to prevent the text from becoming repetitive.
2. There is a need to pay attention to pronoun-antecedent agreement in certain parts of the text to maintain clarity.
**Vocabulary and Word Choice:**
Glows:
1. The candidate effectively conveys their passion and enthusiasm for the gaming industry through their choice of words.
2. Industry-specific terminology is appropriately used to demonstrate knowledge and expertise in game development.
Grows:
1. Enhancing vocabulary by incorporating more sophisticated and precise language could further elevate the writing and make it more engaging.
2. Exploring metaphorical language or figurative expressions might enhance the descriptive elements of the text and make it more vivid.
**Organization and Cohesion:**
Glows:
1. The candidate structures the interview narrative in a coherent and reader-friendly manner.
2. Smooth transitions between paragraphs help maintain the flow of the text and guide the reader through the interview process effectively.
Grows:
1. Providing a brief conclusion at the end of the text can help wrap up the interview narrative neatly and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
2. Including a summary or reflection section could enhance the organization by summarizing key points discussed during the interview and reinforcing the candidate's qualifications and enthusiasm for the position.
**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Grammar and Mechanics:
Beginning learners may struggle with basic grammar rules and punctuation, resulting in errors such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense inconsistency, or comma splices.
Distinguished learners, on the other hand, showcase a high level of grammatical accuracy, demonstrating a strong command of sentence structure, punctuation, and overall mechanics.
Vocabulary and Word Choice:
Beginning learners might rely on basic and repetitive vocabulary, lacking the depth and precision of language. They may struggle to choose appropriate words to convey their ideas effectively.
Distinguished learners, conversely, utilize a diverse range of vocabulary, incorporating nuanced and sophisticated language choices to enhance their writing and express complex concepts more precisely.
Organization and Cohesion:
Beginning learners often present disorganized and disjointed writing, lacking clear transitions between ideas and coherent paragraph structure. They may struggle to develop a logical flow of information or maintain a consistent focus throughout the text. Distinguished learners, on the other hand, demonstrate well-structured and cohesive writing, effectively organizing their ideas with smooth transitions and maintaining a clear and engaging progression of thought.
Evidence and Support:
Beginning learners may provide limited or weak evidence to support their claims or arguments. They may struggle to cite relevant examples or incorporate textual evidence to substantiate their ideas.
In contrast, distinguished learners excel at providing strong and compelling evidence, drawing from a variety of reliable sources and effectively integrating supporting details to reinforce their arguments or viewpoints.
Critical Thinking and Analysis:
Beginning learners often display limited critical thinking skills, offering superficial analysis or demonstrating a narrow understanding of the topic. They may struggle to go beyond surface-level observations or fail to provide insightful interpretations.
Distinguished learners exhibit a higher level of critical thinking, engaging in thoughtful analysis, drawing connections, and offering deeper insights into the subject matter.
ONE FROM EACH
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
I arrived at the terminal a little early the morning of my interview. It doesn’t matter that I have been actively around airplanes and airports for the last four years, I still love to watch them taxi, take off and land. Even just sitting there on the tarmac, they are a site to behold.
NUMBER 3
As I pulled into the real estate office parking lot I couldn’t help but feel a pit of nervousness in my stomach. I collect myself and walk inside. I make my way to the front desk and tell the lovely receptionist that I’m here for my interview. She says “ okay, just take a seat and Tanya our broker will be right with you.” I then take my seat. My thoughts are starting to consume me. I am so nervous I begin to sweat. After a few minutes, Tanya walks down the hallway.“ Hello I’m Tanya, are you here for the interview?” she says. “ Hi it’s nice to meet you, yes I’m here for the interview,” I replied. “Follow me,” she says. I follow her down the hallway to her office. She sits then I sit. “Why do you want this job?” Tanya says. “ I want this job because real estate has always been a dream job of mine and from the research I’ve done your company is a perfect fit for me,” I said. “ I’m glad you're satisfied with our company. What makes you qualified for this position?” says Tanya. “ I have experience within the sales department, I was a solar sales person for 2 years,” I stated. “ That is a good job experience especially in the sales department, solar has always been very hard because you have to go door to door,” says Tanya. “ Yes it was a hard job but I enjoyed it but I am glad to apply those skills into real estate,” I said confidently. “Why should we hire you over other qualified candidates?” said Tanya. “ You should hire me because of my skills within the sales department. Not only are my skills very valuable, I also have many clients from solar that want to buy a house that I would bring to your company,” I replied. “What are some of your best qualities that would enable you to be successful in this position?” Tanya asks. “ Some of my best qualities that would enable me to be successful in this position are my ability to create meaningful relationships with clients, customer service skills, above and beyond mindset, and my ability to sell anything I cross paths with,” I say. “
Those are some great qualities! What are your future plans for this job? Where do you see yourself in five years?” Tanya replies. “ My future plan for this job is to eventually become a broker. I can see myself being a broker in 5 years because I know I will put the work in to earn it,” I said confidently. “ I understand the hustle, it took a lot of time and effort for me to get here too. Now the last question I have is what do you see as a challenge in this position? Why do you think this would be a challenge?” says Tanya. “ I see staying on a steady schedule a challenge in this position because you get to choose your own schedule. I think this would be challenging because no one is telling you that you NEED to come to work because it isn’t mandatory,” I said. “ Those are all the questions I have for you today. It was great to meet you! We will get back to you within the next couple days,” Tanya says. “ It was nice meeting you too, thank you for taking the time out of your day to meet with me. Take care, “ I replied. I then showed myself out.
**Grammar and Mechanics:**
Glow:
- The candidate effectively uses appropriate punctuation, such as commas and quotation marks, to enhance readability.
- Verb tense consistency in the narrative is maintained.
Grow:
- There is an opportunity to vary sentence structures to avoid repetitiveness and enhance engagement.
- Subject-verb agreement could be improved in certain instances to ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity.
**Vocabulary and Word Choice:**
Glow:
- The candidate effectively conveys their passion for the real estate industry through their choice of words.
- Industry-specific terminology related to sales and customer service is used appropriately in the context.
Grow:
- Enhancing vocabulary by incorporating more sophisticated and varied language could elevate the writing and make it more engaging.
- The candidate could benefit from using more nuanced language choices or figurative expressions to enrich the descriptive elements of the text.
**Organization and Cohesion:**
Glow:
- The interview narrative is presented in a coherent manner with a clear progression of ideas.
- Transitions between paragraphs aid in maintaining the flow of the interview conversation.
Grow:
- Providing a brief introduction to set the context for the interview could help engage the reader from the beginning.
- Including a conclusion or reflection section would offer a neat wrap-up to the interview narrative and leave a lasting impression on the reader.