Discussion Expectations:
Rank the Examples by Blog Topic.
**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
*Please use proper grammar in all responses for this class.
Detailed Example Entry:
Rankings:
Distinguished Learner - Danielle
Proficient Learner - Thomas
Developing Learner - Casey
Distinguished Learner Portfolio Review
Glow - Category - Convention - Danielle would receive full credit for this section because she uses correct dialogue grammar at all times. She appropriately uses quotes, commas, and intentions as expected.
Glow - Category - Assignment Targets: Educational Requirements. Danielle would earn full credit in this section because she provides very specific ideas about what education is needed for the job and how to get it. She even included what a program would cost.
Grow - Category - Assignment Targets: Job Postings. Danielle only included two job postings for this position. If she looked and could only find two, maybe this isn’t the best career to choose.
Grow - Category - Formatting - Danielle forgot to include the teacher’s name and date in her MLA formatted heading.
Proficient Learner Portfolio Review
Glow - Category - Assignment Target: Salary Expectations, Growth Potential, Employment Projections, Associated Injuries / Illnesses. Thomas would earn full credit in this category because he went into detail about each expected topic. Interestingly, he included the psychological weight a doctor’s job can take on his mental health in the Associated Injuries / Illnesses category. One often forgets the drawbacks of such responsibility.
Glow - Category - Style, Voice and Sophistication - Thomas answered all the potential questions in great detail. He really seems to be interested in this job. He also included unique responses to the questions, not just what would be expected.
Grow - Category - Conventions - Thomas has frequently run-on sentences. This constant issue makes the reader struggle with interpreting ideas and clarity of discussion.
Grow - Category - Organization. Thomas’ interview, while interesting, does seem to skip around a bit. He asks unrelated questions and doesn’t build the conversation naturally.
Developing Learner Portfolio Review
Glow - Category - Assignment Targets: Educational Requirements. Casey did use the provided websites and did offer a lot of statics in her job review and interview portion.
Glow - Category - MLA format - Casey does have a proper MLA format to the overall document.
Grow - Category -Conventions - Casey doesn’t seem to know how to use Dialogue. She writes the interview like a story, not a Dialogue. Maybe she just didn’t see the resources?
Grow - Category - Style, Voice and Sophistication: Casey only answered four of the questions. Additionally, the answers aren’t all that interesting or detailed.
Rankings:
Distinguished Learner - Danielle
Proficient Learner - Thomas
Developing Learner - Casey
Distinguished Learner Portfolio Review
Glow - Category - Convention - Danielle would receive full credit for this section because she uses correct dialogue grammar at all times. She appropriately uses quotes, commas, and intonations as expected.
Glow - Category - Assignment Targets: Educational Requirements. Danielle would earn full credit in this section because she provides very specific ideas about what education is needed for the job and how to get it. She even included what a program would cost.
Grow - Category - Assignment Targets: Job Postings. Danielle only included two job postings for this position. If she looked and could only find two, maybe this isn’t the best career to choose.
Grow - Category - Formatting - Danielle forgot to include the teacher’s name and date in her MLA formatted heading.
Proficient Learner Portfolio Review
Glow - Category - Assignment Target: Salary Expectations, Growth Potential, Employment Projections, Associated Injuries / Illnesses. Thomas would earn full credit in this category because he went into detail about each expected topic. Interestingly, he included the psychological weight a doctor’s job can take on his mental health in the Associated Injuries / Illnesses category. One often forgets the drawbacks of such responsibility.
Glow - Category - Style, Voice, and Sophistication - Thomas answered all the potential questions in great detail. He really seems to be interested in this job. He also included unique responses to the questions, not just what would be expected.
Grow - Category - Conventions - Thomas has frequently run-on sentences. This constant issue makes the reader struggle with interpreting ideas and clarity of discussion.
Grow - Category - Organization. Thomas’ interview, while interesting, does seem to skip around a bit. He asks unrelated questions and doesn’t build the conversation naturally.
Developing Learner Portfolio Review
Glow - Category - Assignment Targets: Educational Requirements. Casey did use the provided websites and did offer a lot of statistics in her job review and interview portion.
Glow - Category - MLA format - Casey does have proper MLA format throughout the document.
Grow - Category - Conventions - Casey doesn’t seem to know how to use Dialogue. She writes the interview like a story, not a Dialogue. Maybe she just didn’t see the resources?
Grow - Category - Style, Voice, and Sophistication: Casey only answered four of the questions. Additionally, the answers aren’t all that interesting or detailed.
Rank the Examples by Blog Topic.
**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
I arrived at the terminal a little early the morning of my interview. It doesn’t matter that I have been actively around airplanes and airports for the last four years, I still love to watch them taxi, take off and land. Even just sitting there on the tarmac, they are a site to behold.
I made my way into the terminal and was greeted by a friendly receptionist. I let her know that I was there to meet with Mr. Ali about the job interview for a first officer position. As I sat in the waiting area, I went over in my head all kinds of things that I hoped to discuss with Mr. Ali, but mostly I was trying to calm my nerves just a tad.
After a few minutes, a tall, dark haired, well-dressed man made his way over and approached me. He extended his hand and said with a smile, “I am Javvid Ali. You must be Carmen.”
I accepted his handshake and smiled in greeting as I said, “Yes sir I am, but you can call me Sis.” I followed him to a nice, spacious office and sat down in a small seating area with him.
“Sis, would you like something to drink?” he graciously offered.
I declined by saying, “No sir, I am fine, but I appreciate the offer.”
Mr. Ali glanced down at my printed resume. “Sis, you have really fast tracked your training over the last four years.” He observed. “I am impressed. What particularly about this job interests you?”
I paused for just a second, because I didn’t want to get my thoughts jumbled, but I already knew exactly what I wanted to say to this. “Well, sir, there are actually a lot of great points that this particular job has. To me, the charter industry seems to be the most exciting that there is. I feel like the opportunity to meet new people would not only be fun, but would also be resourceful for someone young like myself, with the whole world in front of me. I also am interested in the part of the listing that said I could possibly gain my ATP rating through experience with your company because while I have the hours, I don’t currently have the required rating because of my age.”
Mr. Ali nodded, “Yes, that is definitely an appealing feature for a young man like yourself. It is also appealing for us a business too. Us training young, raw and good talent not only benefits your future career, it benefits us as a company as well.” “As an addition to that thinking, where do you see yourself five years down the road?” he asked.
I leaned forward as I answered. I didn’t want Mr. Ali to get the wrong idea about my intentions. “Well, obviously I am interested in getting this rating, that could set me up for numerous jobs in the industry. I am also interested in the possibility of getting international hours as an employee of your company. From the ad, I assumed that was a possibility, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Mr. Ali agreed, “we serve several international clients and that is certainly a possibility”.
I continued my answer to his previous question, “That is great! But in response to where I see myself in five years, I would say the sky is the limit (no pun intended). Of course, I may use my opportunities here to move myself into a different sector of the business, but in all honesty, if this job seems like the great fit that I am thinking it may be, I may just retire from here.”
Mr. Ali smiled and said, “Sis, I think you are a smart young lady and really, the world is your oyster, like they say. You keep thinking and acting like that, and you will do big things with your career.” “I am sure of it,” he added with a grin. “So I see from your resume you have the required certifications, minus the ATP like we just discussed, tell me a little bit about your certificate journey and what you are currently doing. What makes you qualified for this position,” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
This subject is always fun for me to explain because I am proud of the work I have put in to be a pilot. “I began my training at a private flight school in Winder, GA when I was 17. I wasn’t a typical high school student. I did my schoolwork and obtained my high school diploma strictly online from the time I was in 7th grade until I graduated,” I explained. “Wow, that does sound not so typical. What led you to online school,” he wanted to know.
“Well, to begin with, I used to race dirt bikes – “
“Dirt bikes!” exclaimed Mr. Ali. “Wow, that sounds fun! So apparently you have always been drawn a little to the extreme, huh,” he mused.
I laughed, “yes, I supposed so.” I explained a little more about what brought me to online school and went on to tell him how I once trained full time for my racing and online school gave me the flexibility to do that. “Around my senior year though, I decided to cut back some on that and that was a great time to start on something I had wanted to do my whole life, which was to get my pilot’s license.” “So,” I explained, instead of doing dual enrollment, or applying to collages, I went once or twice a week to the airport and started my journey.”
Mr. Ali nodded emphatically, “I am very impressed with that. I think that is a great way to start out your career, and you really have done in a few short years what it takes some many to do. I can see that happened for you because you are focused. What other attributes do you think your life experiences have given you?” he wanted to know.
I was hoping he would head in this direction, as this was an easy answer for me. “My life experiences have given me a lot of great attributes. My online school experience started at a time when both of my parents were working full time outside the house and I stayed home alone to complete my coursework during the day. Just learning how to cook my own lunch was interesting at first, but it was just one small step in the self-motivation skills I would need to accomplish school at home with no parent supervision.”
“Yes,” agreed Mr. Ali, “and just you being able to get that done is big at such a young age.”
“Yes sir, I had many days when I would rather goof off than sit down and do school, but I was very motivated. I liked being at home versus being in a brick and mortar school, and the deal I cut with my parents was if I didn’t give it my all, back I would go.”
Mr. Ali seemed impressed. “That is very smart of your parents, and of you too, Sis,” he said. “You are definitely qualified for this position, and being such a young self-starter is really impressive to me.”
“Thank you sir,” I nodded. I was glad that he had noticed this because I think it is such an important part of who I am and how my life has evolved.
“Sis, handling challenges is a very important part of one’s career life. How do you handle challenges, and what do you see in this job in particular being a challenge for you?” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
“I think we’ve already discussed one of the most challenging things I have ever done and that was my online school journey. It was rewarding, to be able to do so much on my own, but it certainly had many challenges,” I told him. I continued on about some of my challenges from racing. “When I raced and trained full time, I lived at a training facility during the week. This was before I had a driver’s license. My parents would take me and drop me off Monday and pick me up Thursday or Friday. It was challenging to plan my day to where I got on and off the bike training in, nutrition, and school work done. And of course, I was a teenager and wanted to socialize too.”
“That sounds like a big responsibility for a young teen,” Mr. Ali noted. I agreed, “it certainly was, but it paid off. In 2021, I went to the armature national championships and won one of my classes and got 2nd in the other one. It was a very amazing time for me and my family, but it never would have happened without discipline and hard work.”
“Sis, that is truly impressive. You seem like you have led such an interesting life so far. Dirt bikes, airplanes, and freedom at…how old are you in 7th grade? Twelve?” he laughed. I was laughing too.
“Yes sir, it has truly been a great ride so far. And I am looking forward to possibly continuing here with Atlas Air. It seems like yes, there will be challenges here, or anywhere that I possibly would work, but I think through my formal experiences with flying as well as my life experiences, I would be able to tackle anything that comes at me.”
Mr. Ali stood up and I followed suit. “Sis,” he said, “you may just replace that guy on TV as ‘the most interesting man in the world’”
I laughed and extended my hand to him. As we shook I said, “no sir, I doubt that, but I have truly lived a great life so far, and I am hoping that my next chapter could be as a pilot with Atlas Air.”
“Well son,” he said, “I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and hearing about your experiences and I will certainly be in touch soon.”
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Ali,” I said before I exited his office.
Rankings:
1. Distinguished Learner: Portfolio Review - Author's Experience Story
2. Proficient Learner: Portfolio Review - Interview for a First Officer Position
3. Developing Learner: Portfolio Review - Educational Background and Career Goals
Distinguished Learner: Portfolio Review - Author's Experience Story
Glow - Category - Voice and Tone: The author's voice throughout the piece is engaging and personal, making the reader feel connected to the story being told.
Glow - Category - Descriptive Elements: The author effectively uses descriptive language to paint a vivid picture of the experiences and challenges faced, such as the excitement of watching planes take off and land, and the challenges of balancing training, education, and social life.
Grow - Category - Organization: The story could benefit from a clearer structure or timeline to help the reader follow along with the author's journey more easily.
Grow - Category - Proofreading: There are some typographical errors and missing punctuation that could be corrected to enhance the overall readability and professionalism of the piece.
Proficient Learner: Portfolio Review - Interview for a First Officer Position
Glow - Category - Realism: The interview scenario feels realistic and provides insight into the author's career aspirations in the aviation industry.
Glow - Category - Career Goals: The author's responses to questions about their interest in the job, future plans, and handling challenges demonstrate a clear understanding of the profession and a well-thought-out career trajectory.
Grow - Category - Dialogue Tagging: Some sections of dialogue could benefit from clearer attribution to indicate who is speaking, improving the flow and readability of the conversation.
Grow - Category - Length: The interview could be condensed slightly to focus on the most relevant and impactful details, avoiding repetition or unnecessary information.
Developing Learner: Portfolio Review - Educational Background and Career Goals
Glow - Category - Education Details: The author provides some information about their training and qualifications, giving a glimpse into their academic background and preparation for the job market.
Glow - Category - Viable Audiences: The author clearly communicates their interest in pursuing a career in the aviation industry and demonstrates a desire to learn and grow in the field.
Grow - Category - Clarity: Some sections could benefit from additional clarity or explanation to ensure the reader fully understands the author's background, motivations, and goals.
Grow - Category - Engagement: The piece could be made more engaging by incorporating personal anecdotes or specific examples to bring the author's experiences to life for the reader.
**Students must provide TWO GLOWS and TWO GROWS for each category.
A "Glow" is a detail / expectation in the example that is well done.
A"Grow" is a detail / expectation in the example that needs improvement.
Be specific. It is not enough to say - The example is not in MLA format. Tell which elements of MLA format are missing.
I arrived at the terminal a little early the morning of my interview. It doesn’t matter that I have been actively around airplanes and airports for the last four years, I still love to watch them taxi, take off and land. Even just sitting there on the tarmac, they are a site to behold.
NUMBER 1:
I made my way into the terminal and was greeted by a friendly receptionist. I let her know that I was there to meet with Mr. Ali about the job interview for a first officer position. As I sat in the waiting area, I went over in my head all kinds of things that I hoped to discuss with Mr. Ali, but mostly I was trying to calm my nerves just a tad.
After a few minutes, a tall, dark haired, well-dressed man made his way over and approached me. He extended his hand and said with a smile, “I am Javvid Ali. You must be Carmen.”
I accepted his handshake and smiled in greeting as I said, “Yes sir I am, but you can call me Sis.” I followed him to a nice, spacious office and sat down in a small seating area with him.
“Sis, would you like something to drink?” he graciously offered.
I declined by saying, “No sir, I am fine, but I appreciate the offer.”
Mr. Ali glanced down at my printed resume. “Sis, you have really fast tracked your training over the last four years.” He observed. “I am impressed. What particularly about this job interests you?”
I paused for just a second, because I didn’t want to get my thoughts jumbled, but I already knew exactly what I wanted to say to this. “Well, sir, there are actually a lot of great points that this particular job has. To me, the charter industry seems to be the most exciting that there is. I feel like the opportunity to meet new people would not only be fun, but would also be resourceful for someone young like myself, with the whole world in front of me. I also am interested in the part of the listing that said I could possibly gain my ATP rating through experience with your company because while I have the hours, I don’t currently have the required rating because of my age.”
Mr. Ali nodded, “Yes, that is definitely an appealing feature for a young man like yourself. It is also appealing for us a business too. Us training young, raw and good talent not only benefits your future career, it benefits us as a company as well.” “As an addition to that thinking, where do you see yourself five years down the road?” he asked.
I leaned forward as I answered. I didn’t want Mr. Ali to get the wrong idea about my intentions. “Well, obviously I am interested in getting this rating, that could set me up for numerous jobs in the industry. I am also interested in the possibility of getting international hours as an employee of your company. From the ad, I assumed that was a possibility, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Mr. Ali agreed, “we serve several international clients and that is certainly a possibility”.
I continued my answer to his previous question, “That is great! But in response to where I see myself in five years, I would say the sky is the limit (no pun intended). Of course, I may use my opportunities here to move myself into a different sector of the business, but in all honesty, if this job seems like the great fit that I am thinking it may be, I may just retire from here.”
Mr. Ali smiled and said, “Sis, I think you are a smart young lady and really, the world is your oyster, like they say. You keep thinking and acting like that, and you will do big things with your career.” “I am sure of it,” he added with a grin. “So I see from your resume you have the required certifications, minus the ATP like we just discussed, tell me a little bit about your certificate journey and what you are currently doing. What makes you qualified for this position,” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
This subject is always fun for me to explain because I am proud of the work I have put in to be a pilot. “I began my training at a private flight school in Winder, GA when I was 17. I wasn’t a typical high school student. I did my schoolwork and obtained my high school diploma strictly online from the time I was in 7th grade until I graduated,” I explained. “Wow, that does sound not so typical. What led you to online school,” he wanted to know.
“Well, to begin with, I used to race dirt bikes – “
“Dirt bikes!” exclaimed Mr. Ali. “Wow, that sounds fun! So apparently you have always been drawn a little to the extreme, huh,” he mused.
I laughed, “yes, I supposed so.” I explained a little more about what brought me to online school and went on to tell him how I once trained full time for my racing and online school gave me the flexibility to do that. “Around my senior year though, I decided to cut back some on that and that was a great time to start on something I had wanted to do my whole life, which was to get my pilot’s license.” “So,” I explained, instead of doing dual enrollment, or applying to collages, I went once or twice a week to the airport and started my journey.”
Mr. Ali nodded emphatically, “I am very impressed with that. I think that is a great way to start out your career, and you really have done in a few short years what it takes some many to do. I can see that happened for you because you are focused. What other attributes do you think your life experiences have given you?” he wanted to know.
I was hoping he would head in this direction, as this was an easy answer for me. “My life experiences have given me a lot of great attributes. My online school experience started at a time when both of my parents were working full time outside the house and I stayed home alone to complete my coursework during the day. Just learning how to cook my own lunch was interesting at first, but it was just one small step in the self-motivation skills I would need to accomplish school at home with no parent supervision.”
“Yes,” agreed Mr. Ali, “and just you being able to get that done is big at such a young age.”
“Yes sir, I had many days when I would rather goof off than sit down and do school, but I was very motivated. I liked being at home versus being in a brick and mortar school, and the deal I cut with my parents was if I didn’t give it my all, back I would go.”
Mr. Ali seemed impressed. “That is very smart of your parents, and of you too, Sis,” he said. “You are definitely qualified for this position, and being such a young self-starter is really impressive to me.”
“Thank you sir,” I nodded. I was glad that he had noticed this because I think it is such an important part of who I am and how my life has evolved.
“Sis, handling challenges is a very important part of one’s career life. How do you handle challenges, and what do you see in this job in particular being a challenge for you?” Mr. Ali wanted to know.
“I think we’ve already discussed one of the most challenging things I have ever done and that was my online school journey. It was rewarding, to be able to do so much on my own, but it certainly had many challenges,” I told him. I continued on about some of my challenges from racing. “When I raced and trained full time, I lived at a training facility during the week. This was before I had a driver’s license. My parents would take me and drop me off Monday and pick me up Thursday or Friday. It was challenging to plan my day to where I got on and off the bike training in, nutrition, and school work done. And of course, I was a teenager and wanted to socialize too.”
“That sounds like a big responsibility for a young teen,” Mr. Ali noted. I agreed, “it certainly was, but it paid off. In 2021, I went to the armature national championships and won one of my classes and got 2nd in the other one. It was a very amazing time for me and my family, but it never would have happened without discipline and hard work.”
“Sis, that is truly impressive. You seem like you have led such an interesting life so far. Dirt bikes, airplanes, and freedom at…how old are you in 7th grade? Twelve?” he laughed. I was laughing too.
“Yes sir, it has truly been a great ride so far. And I am looking forward to possibly continuing here with Atlas Air. It seems like yes, there will be challenges here, or anywhere that I possibly would work, but I think through my formal experiences with flying as well as my life experiences, I would be able to tackle anything that comes at me.”
Mr. Ali stood up and I followed suit. “Sis,” he said, “you may just replace that guy on TV as ‘the most interesting man in the world’”
I laughed and extended my hand to him. As we shook I said, “no sir, I doubt that, but I have truly lived a great life so far, and I am hoping that my next chapter could be as a pilot with Atlas Air.”
“Well son,” he said, “I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and hearing about your experiences and I will certainly be in touch soon.”
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Ali,” I said before I exited his office.
I wandered back to the parking lot and took a detour around to the observation deck one last time. A large 747 was taxing towards the runway, and I stood and watched, hoping that soon I would be the one in that cockpit.
Rankings:
1. Description of Aviation Experience
2. Interview for a First Officer Position
3. Educational Background and Career Goals
Description of Aviation Experience
Glow - Engaging Opening: The piece starts with a vivid description of the author's passion for airplanes, creating a strong opening that draws the reader in.
Glow - Descriptive Language: The use of descriptive language to depict the author's love for aviation activities like watching planes taxi, take off, and land is well done, creating a vivid image in the reader's mind.
Grow - Transition: The piece could benefit from a smoother transition between the author's personal experiences with airplanes and the interview scenario that follows to ensure a more cohesive narrative flow.
Grow - Punctuation and Grammar: There are some technical errors in punctuation and grammar that could be addressed to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
Interview for a First Officer Position
Glow - Realistic Dialogue: The dialogue between the interviewee and Mr. Ali feels authentic and captures the essence of a job interview scenario well, adding a layer of realism to the piece.
Glow - Career Aspirations: The author's responses to questions about their interest in the job, future plans, and challenges demonstrate a clear sense of career goals and motivations.
Grow - Dialogue Attribution: Some sections of the dialogue could benefit from clearer attribution to indicate who is speaking, enhancing the readability and flow of the conversation.
Grow - Clarity: Certain sections of the interview could be clarified to provide more context or explanation to the reader, ensuring a more comprehensive understanding of the author's responses.
Educational Background and Career Goals
Glow - Self-Motivation: The author effectively portrays their self-motivation and dedication through experiences with online school, racing, and pursuing a pilot's license, showcasing valuable attributes for a career in aviation.
Glow - Personal Growth: The narrative highlights the author's personal growth and challenges faced, providing insights into how these experiences have shaped their character and abilities.
Grow - Structure: The piece could benefit from a clearer structural organization to enhance the coherence and logical progression of the author's educational background and career goals.
Grow - Proofreading: There are minor errors in punctuation and grammar that could be corrected to enhance the professionalism and clarity of the writing.