Below is an excerpt from an informational essay that a student wrote.
Based on a recent study, school lunches have been shown to be an important factor for students in schools. Students that eat a healthy lunch perform better on high stakes tests and are reportedly healthier and happier. Furthermore, good nutrition is important for children in the developmental process. So really, it's pretty obvious how important it is to make school lunches number one!
Which of the following is the best way to revise the underlined sentence for appropriate language while maintaining the same meaning?
A.
Really, it is pretty obvious how badly we need to do something with lunches.
B.
In conclusion, it is important that schools prioritize nutrition in order to maximize the benefits to children.
B.
In conclusion, it is important that schools prioritize nutrition in order to maximize the benefits to children.
To revise the underlined sentence for appropriate language while maintaining the same meaning, we need to choose an option that uses more formal, precise language.
Option A, "Really, it is pretty obvious how badly we need to do something with lunches," uses informal language and does not maintain the same meaning. It also adds a subjective tone ("badly") which is not appropriate in an informational essay.
Option B, "In conclusion, it is important that schools prioritize nutrition in order to maximize the benefits to children," is a better choice. It uses more formal language and retains the meaning of the original sentence. Additionally, it introduces the essay's conclusion, which is a common structure in academic writing.
The best way to revise the underlined sentence for appropriate language while maintaining the same meaning is:
B. In conclusion, it is important that schools prioritize nutrition in order to maximize the benefits to children.