English

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hi im suppose to write a motivational speech and i need help i started off like: High School was like a maze. It had twists and turns and sometimes I felt lost. Throughout my four years I learned that with hard work and strong determination I could get through it with ease.

  • English -

    You have a contradiction in your introduction. Hard work and strong determination and ease are not at all the same ideas.

    What do you want to motivate people to do?

  • English -

    How is that contradicting myself..im saying that i worked hard to make my situation easier...anyways im trying to motivate people that getting an education is important and my core message is high school is a journey.

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    i totally agree i believe that you need high school to get a good job so i look at it as you get to each year level figure out what you want to become then pick subjects that will help you get to your goal so basically it is a journey

  • English -

    I'd say something to the effect that hard work and determination made the journey through high school rewarding.

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    ok but im just wondering how the first part is contradictory? are you saying to erase the whole thing...im really stressing out and im all confused what to write now that you said that..:(

  • English -

    You say you "got through it with ease" -- but hard work and self-determination aren't easy. My suggestion is to change that part what I suggested above.

  • English -

    Ms. Sue is saying that "with hard work and strong determination" is going to provide a year of "with ease" -- that's a contradiction. If someone is working hard and has strong determination, he/she is not at "ease" or, as some people say, coasting or skating through.

    Read Ms. Sue's second response -- use that idea.

  • English -

    So basically change the whole idea of my speech....yeh that's real helpful now im real stressed out thanks for nothing..

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    never mind i guess i see what you mean but now im stuck on the rest of it...i don't know what examples to use any ideas?

  • English -

    I think you are right. You don't know what you want to say.

    Consider somebody else: Paul Newman just died, but gave hope to many. We can do the same as he, by his example. While it may seem trivial the things he did, they had a big impact.

    http://www.google.com/search?q=paul+newman+charities&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

    Or consider Bill Gates: how he is changing the world with giving. YOu can google that. We all can contribute to a better place to live, one act at a time.

  • English -

    To continue the journey metaphor, you could cite specific instances in your hard work and determination paid off. A journey ends when you reach your destination. What is your destination?

    Examples --
    * studying every evening and ending with an A in the class
    * being accepted into college (getting a scholarship?)
    * taking another big step toward your chosen career

  • English -

    thanks for your help im sorry that i was stressed and being mean...you must hate me :( sorry

  • English -

    I understand you being stressed. It happens to all of us.

    You're welcome. Glad we could help.

  • English -

    Hope my idea worked!

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