Is this a good journal entry for an Italian immigrant who came to America to New York?
My family is made up of italians, i wanted to migrate to the Americas because my mother and father have died from a sickness no one could cure. It was hard for my brother, Vinny,and my sister, Brandi, because they do not understand of why they died for they are to young to understand. I am the oldest out of them and i have vowed to my mother to protect my younger sinlings like i was their own mother, and Italy was getting at its worse by having more poor people who are sick and dying and less rich poeple who are healthier than ever. However, i wanted to go there because i heard it was the most magnificent place ever to live and work. For they have a cleaner enviornment/economy and more jobs to get paid from. My siblings and i came to America we went on steamship, but since we didn't have alot of money we were at the lowest level class there was. I remeber that trip like it was just yesterday, the ship was crowded, exhausting, terrible, and filthy. There were so many other immigrants from other croounties who also left for a better cause. However, it was nice because it was a like having a fresh new start for everyone. Everyone could start over their lives again for a better one. When we saw the Statue of Liberty for the first time it was wonderful and happy because it was the first time we have seen the famous statue of liberty who represents freedom and welcoming. Also, she was gorgeous with her tall self with her arm raised with a torch that lit up my siblings eyes. For the other immigrants they were joyful, cheerful, and happy to be out of their country and into America where they know they could have a better life. We arrived to New York in the year of 1918, and when we went to Ellis Island everyone dressed in their best clothing so they could impress the inspectors. Everyone was nervous and anxious because they knew if one of the inspectors see something wrong with them they would usually be sent back home, and they knew that if they did they wouldn’t survive due to lack of money. We also saw people waiting for their turn to be inspected if they had any sicknesses. After a couple of years after my siblings and i passed Ellis Island we kept hearing everyone saying that being through Ellis Island was the best thing that ever happened to them, and others said that Ellis Island was the worst thing that has ever happened to them.
It is ok, but the first sentence, it is hard for me to think of an immigrant writing in his own journal stating My family is made up of italians,
This journal entry provides a good insight into the experiences of an Italian immigrant who came to America, particularly New York. It showcases the motivations for leaving Italy, such as the death of the narrator's parents and the difficult conditions in their home country. The entry describes the arduous journey by steamship, highlighting the lower social class of the family due to limited finances. The Statue of Liberty is mentioned as a symbol of hope and freedom, representing the welcoming nature of America. The mention of Ellis Island portrays the anxiety and uncertainty faced by immigrants during the inspection process.
To further enhance the journal entry, you can focus on specific details and emotions, providing more depth to the experiences. You could consider including descriptions of the crowded and cramped living conditions on the steamship, the emotions of the siblings leaving their home and embarking on a new journey, the initial impressions of New York upon arrival, and any challenges or triumphs faced after passing through Ellis Island. Adding these details can make the journal entry more vivid and personal, creating a stronger connection between the reader and the narrator's experiences as an Italian immigrant in America.