Writing

Can you proofread my writing?

Philip Malloy
Have you ever met a devious little boy? Well, I have. In the story “Nothing but the truth,” by Avi, a boy named Philip Malloy was very devious. Philip Malloy was a funny person, then a stubborn person.
There are many ways Philip was a funny boy. He cracked so many jokes that could’ve been serious. For example, when he said, “Girls go for guys that win,” (pg.3). He was so in love with track that he said that.
Another trait that can describe Philip Malloy is stubborn. He was very into himself, he thought only of him, and what’s best for him. An example to describe stubborn is, “Studying is boring,” (pg, 7). He doesn’t know studying is boring, if he just takes a look at his friends that loves studying that want to be the best student and person they can be in the world.
As you can see, many traits that can fit a ninth grade boy named Philip Malloy are funny and stubborn. He might be an actor, but he sure knows, that he thinks of no one, but himself. Funny people have lots of jokes to make people laugh. Stubborn people get you no where. Does this person fit you too?

  1. 👍 0
  2. 👎 0
  3. 👁 48
asked by Hope
  1. Philip Malloy was very devious <~~and yet nowhere else in your writing do you define "devious" nor tell the reader in what way the boy exhibited such a characteristic.

    For example, when he said, "Girls go for guys that win" (pg.3). <~~First of all, that's not a complete sentence. Also how is that funny? And the next sentence doesn't seem to fit either -- it's not telling the reader anything about the boy being funny.

    Please read your paper aloud to someone else and make sure the ideas logically follow one another.

    Also, there are places in here where you need to be using reflexive pronouns.
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns1.htm#reflexive

    Revise, revise, revise -- then repost.

  2. Can you show me how you would write this writing and il go back and do it myself?

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Hope
  3. You have named three adjectives for this character: devious, funny, and stubborn.

    Write one paragraph that includes examples of him being devious.

    Write one paragraph that gives examples of him being funny. Truly funny, humorous,

    Write one paragraph that shows how he is stubborn -- examples of when he is acting stubborn.

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. writing

    i don't understand what u said, writeteacher. can you show me? Can u proofread and show me how to fix me my writing? Philip Malloy Have you ever watched the movie? In the story, “Nothing but the truth,” by Avi, a boy named

    asked by hope on May 17, 2011
  2. English

    1. He met the boy here. ------------------------------------ Q1: Does 'the boy' modify 'met' or 'the boy'? Q2: Is 'here' an adverb or an adjective? Q3: Did he meet the boy here for the first time? Or did he meet the boy here whom

    asked by rfvv on October 1, 2018
  3. English

    1. He met the boy in the classroom. 2. He shook hands with the boy in the classroom. 3. He talked with the boy in the classroom. 4. He observed the boy in the classroom. 5. He looked at the boy in the classroom. .................

    asked by rfvv on June 18, 2018
  4. Language Arts

    I need some help with my narrative essay about how I met a friend. I don't think I quite understand what I need to do, I've already written it but I need help fixing it to make it better. I have included information about when we

    asked by ILTHSM_ on October 8, 2018
  5. English

    1. What are the languages (which are) spoken in Canada? 2. Look at the boy who (is running) in the playground. 3. Did you see the basket (which is) full of apples? 4. I met the boy (who is) out of the classroom.

    asked by rfvv on April 20, 2017
  6. Writing

    Can you proofread my writing? Wrong Place, Wrong Time On February 26, a 17-year-old boy named Trayvon Martin was murdered. Why? Why? Why? Was George Zimmerman defending himself or committing a hate crime? I believe George

    asked by Stonie on May 11, 2012
  7. English

    1. This is the classroom in which I met her. 2. This is the playground at/on/in which I met her. 3. This is the coffee shop at/in which I met her. 4. This is the street in/on which I met her.

    asked by rfvv on October 23, 2016
  8. English

    Posted by rfvv on Wednesday, September 23, 2015 at 4:21pm. 1. Peter is the boy whom I met in U.K. 2. Peter is the boy whom I met in the U.K. ==================== Which one is right? Is # 1 OK without 'the'? English - Reed,

    asked by rfvv on September 23, 2015
  9. English

    1. Peter is the boy whom I met in U.K. 2. Peter is the boy whom I met in the U.K. ==================== Which one is right? Is # 1 OK without 'the'?

    asked by rfvv on September 23, 2015
  10. English

    To clarify my question before, I am diagramming sentences. When diagramming, verbs and gerunds go in very different spots. in the sentence Philip is planning a party, it could either be Philip | is \ (gerund goes a stand) planning

    asked by Anonymous on March 16, 2008

More Similar Questions