Can you proofread my writing? What grade would you give me?
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Decisions everyone has to make them. Some decisions are hard and important and some are not. The decision I had to make was did I still want to be the statistician for the varsity Girls and Boys basketball team.
“Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock,” went my head as my mind drifted of what to do. I said to myself, “What makes me happy, as I sat on my bed wondering?” I thought about what were some of my choices I had that I could feel excited on what decision I chose to make. My choices were as followed; play basketball for Varsity Girls and be statistician /manager for boys.
My coach said, “Alanna, your playing time will be limited.”
I said, “ I know,” as I thought very hard on making my decision. I would play on the Varsity Girls basketball for one year and be statistician for Varsity Girls and Boys basketball. Then I thought about how I loved playing basketball and what I can contribute to the ball team.
I finally decided that I would play Junior Varsity girls basketball and be the statistician for Varsity Boys and Girls basketball team. I chose this because I would not get the playing time I thought I deserved. So the decision I made would be the best for me.
from 1-6(1 being the lowest,6 being the highest),i would give u a 5.
Thank you Im veryy happy.
welcome(:
mrs. sue can u help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd be happy to help you with proofreading your writing. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
1. In the second sentence, it would be clearer to say "Did I still want to be the statistician for both the varsity Girls and Boys basketball teams."
2. In the third sentence, it is better to use quotation marks instead of indenting to indicate dialogue.
3. In the fifth sentence, consider rephrasing to "My thoughts wandered as I pondered what would make me happy." Also, "what were some of my choices I had" can be simplified to "what choices I had."
4. In the sixth sentence, consider rephrasing "play basketball for Varsity Girls" to "join the Varsity Girls basketball team" for clarity.
5. In the seventh sentence, add quotation marks to indicate dialogue.
6. In the ninth sentence, consider rephrasing "Then I thought about how I loved playing basketball and what I can contribute to the ball team" to "Next, I considered how much I loved playing basketball and the value I could bring to the team."
7. In the final sentence, consider rephrasing "So the decision I made would be the best for me" to "Therefore, I decided that playing on the Junior Varsity girls basketball team and being the statistician for both the Varsity Boys and Girls basketball teams would be the best choice for me."
As for the grade, it's difficult to determine solely based on this short excerpt. However, with some minor improvements in structure and grammar, your writing will become more polished and effective. Keep practicing, and you'll continue to improve!