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An Abusive Situation

On a ordinary Thursday afternoon I just finished eating my lunch with my high school friends. We did not do anything much except talk about how our classes were and about those guys at the East Hall upstairs. I was having so much fun that I was almost going to be late for Mr. Canales' English III class. When I got to the south hall downstairs, I saw some students waiting outside sitting on the one hundred degree cement. Everyone was tired and thirsty. I was too full for food or drinks. We waited outside for fifteen minutes and I saw a woman who seemed pretty confused about her schedule. I went to her and I helped her to look for her class. It turned out that the both of us were in the smae class. I would never forget that day because I saved the life of a person who I only knew for one day.

I was a kind person at that time because i opened myself by being nice to help her out. I did not act stuck up or quiet. I made her feel welcome to Sunnyside High School. She was so confused that she could not find her class and I did not make fun of her or laugh. I lent my hand to show her where the class was.

We introduced ourselves. It turned out that the woman's name was Jenifer and she was from Hanford, CA. an hour drive from Fresno. I asked her why she came to Fresno. Jenifer seemed to feel uncomfortable to answer my question. She looked down and gave me a half-odd smile. She did not say anything for three seconds, then she told me that she was bad and her parents decided to send her to live with her Aunt and Uncle in Fresno. I did not believe her because she seemed not to look like a troublemaker. She was beautiful and her very black and thick hair hung straight down to her thighs. She got me completely confused, but I did not ask her any further questions.

The next day, it was Friday and I just could not wait to go home and sleep. I saw Jenifer sitting under a golden yellow-leaf tree. She was very sad. She kept talking on her cell phone, crying and yelling at it. I went up to her and her face was very bruised and her upper lip had a real big cut on it. She cried a lot and she kept saying bad words and yelling at someone name Kou. I was confused, so I asked her what was wrong. She did not answer me except she kept crying a lot. I did not understand why she had so many bruises. Her left eye was burgundy and her arms had a lot of cuts on them. I sat next to her under the tree. I kept quiet for a while until she hung up her cell phone.

I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her husband had beaten her up and cut her with scissors. I was shocked when she said, "my husband," Jenifer was married. I could not believe it that she already was married and she was only sixteen years old. She cried so much that she got me very sad. I cried a lot with her because i felt sorry for a young teenage girl who was being abused by her husband. She told me that her husband wanted to go clubbing with his friends. She would not let him go because it was very late. She pulled his arms and he got so angry at her that he socked her in the left eye. He told her to stay home and go to sleep. She would not listen to him and sge hit him on his chest. That got him real angry and he grabbed the scissors and cut her with it. That was how she ended up with cuts on her arms. The mother-in-law tried to stop her son, but she could not because he was way so out of control so that no one in his family could do anything. He left leaving Jenifer bleeding and crying on the sofa. She also told me that she was two months pregnant.

I was very scared when she told me what her husband did. I was going to call the cops but I did not really want to do it because I was afraid that I might put her in an worse situation than before. And if her husband went to jail for abusing her than, her child would grow up not having a father. I do not want that to happened. All I could think of was my teacher Ms. Martinez. I just barely met Jenifer and I really did not want her to be in an abusive situation so I went to Ms. Martinez and I told her that Jenifer was in an abusive situation. I decided to tell Ms. Martinez because she used to be a social worker for kids who were involved in gang violence and women who were in abusive situations.

Ms. Martinez talked with Jenifer and she helped her deal with her life because Jenifer was still very young to be in a situation like that. She wanted to take Jenifer to the police but Jenifer did not want to go, so Ms. Martinez gave her cell phone number to Jenifer so she could call her whenever she was in trouble. Ever since then, I never saw Jenifer with bruises on her face or any cuts on her arms. She is now clean and beautiful.

I could not believe that what I did for this girl would make me felt so special. I saved her life from not letting her husband treat her like a slave. This story tells me that I am a caring person. I did not know Jenifer as much as my friends and I already saved her life. I knew her for two days and I already helped her. If it was some other people, this situation would be scary for them because nobody would know what Jenifer's husband would do if he found out that his wife was being helped and be given advice. He might kill that person for being involved in his business. But I was not scared and I helped Jenifer right away because I cared a lot about her and I do not think any woman should be in any abusive situation. Every women has the right of making their own decisions.

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  1. An Abusive Situation

    On an ordinary Thursday afternooncomma I just finished eating my lunch with my high school friends. We did not do anything much except talk about how our classes were and about those guys at the East Hall upstairs. I was having so much fun that I was almost going to be late for Mr. Canales' English III class. When I got to the south hall downstairs, I saw some students waiting outside sitting on the one hundred degree cement. Everyone was tired and thirsty. I was too full of food or drinks. We waited outside for fifteen minutescomma and I saw a woman who seemed pretty confused about her schedule. I went to hercomma and I helped her to look for her class. It turned out that the<~~delete “the” both of us were in the smae<~~sp? class. I would never forget that day because I saved the life of a person whom I had just met that day.

    I was a kind person at that time because i<~~?? opened myself by being nice to help her out. I did not act stuck up or quiet. I made her feel welcome to Sunnyside High School. She was so confused that she could not find her classcomma and I did not make fun of her or laugh. I lent my hand to show her where the class was. This is a strange paragraph. Is it responding directly to the assignment or question?

    We introduced ourselves. It turned out that the woman's name was Jenifercomma and she was from Hanford, CA. <~~delete period; add comma an hour’s drive from Fresno. I asked her why she came to Fresno. Jenifer seemed to feel uncomfortable about answering my question. She looked down and gave me a half-odd smile. She did not say anything for three seconds, <~~delete comma and add semicolon then she told me that she was bad<~~think of a less elementary word for this; also add comma and her parents decided to send her to live with her Aunt and Uncle<~~no capitals on “aunt” and “uncle” unless you name them in Fresno. I did not believe her because she did not seem to look like a troublemaker. She was beautifulcomma and her very black and thick hair hung straight down to her thighs. She completely confused me, but I did not ask her any further questions.

    The next day was Fridaycomma and I just could not wait to go home and sleep. I saw Jenifer sitting under a golden yellow-leaf tree. She was very sad. She kept talking on her cell phone, crying and yelling at it. I went up to hercomma and her face was very bruised and her upper lip was cut. She cried a lotcomma and she kept cursing and yelling at someone name Kou. I was confused, so I asked her what was wrong. She did not answer me except she kept crying a lot. I did not understand why she had so many bruises. Her left eye was burgundycomma and her arms had many cuts on them. I sat next to her under the tree and kept quiet for a while until she hung up her cell phone.

    I asked her what was wrongcomma and she told me that her husband had beaten her up and cut her with scissors. I was shocked when she said, "my husband," delete comma and add period; otherwise, this is a run-on. Jenifer was married. I could not believe it<~~delete “it” that she already was married at only sixteen years old<~~delete “years old”. She cried so much that I became very sad, too. I cried a lot with her because i<~~?? felt sorry for a young teenage girl who was being abused by her husband. She told me that her husband wanted to go clubbing with his friends, but she didn’t want him to go because it was very late. She pulled his armscomma and he became so angry at her that he socked her in the left eye. He told her to stay home and go to sleep. She would not listen to him and sge<~~?? hit him on his chest. That made him very angrycomma and he grabbed the scissors and cut her with it<~~delete “with it”. That was how she ended up with cuts on her arms.<~~delete that sentence; it’s redundant The mother-in-law tried to stop her son, but she could not because he was way<~~delete “way” so out of control so<~~delete “so” that no one in his family could do anything. He left leaving<~~delete “leaving” Jenifer bleeding and crying on the sofa. She also told me that she was two months pregnant.

    I was very scared when she told me what her husband did. I was going to call the copscomma but I did not really want to do it because I was afraid that I might put her in a worse situation than before. And if her husband went to jail for abusing her than, her child would grow up not having a father. I do not want that to happened<~~??. All I could think of was my teacher Ms. Martinez. I had just recently met Jenifercomma and I really did not want her to be in an abusive situationcomma so I went to Ms. Martinez and I told her about Jenifer. I decided to tell Ms. Martinez because she used to be a social worker for kids who were involved in gang violence and women who were in abusive situations.

    Ms. Martinez talked with Jenifercomma and she helped her deal with her life since Jenifer was still very young to be in a situation like that. She wanted to take Jenifer to the policecomma but Jenifer did not want to go, so Ms. Martinez gave her cell phone number to Jenifer so she could call her whenever she was in trouble. Ever since then, I have not seen Jenifer with bruises on her face or any cuts on her arms. She is now clean and beautiful.

    I could not believe that what I did for this girl would make me felt so special. I saved her life from not letting her husband treat her like a slave. I realize that I am a caring person. I did not know Jenifer as much as I know my friendscomma yet I already saved her life. I knew her for two days and I already helped her. <~~redundant sentence; delete it If it<~~what is “it”? was some other people, this situation would be scary for them because nobody would know what Jenifer's husband would do if he found out that his wife was being helped and be given advice. <~~That sentence is strange, especially the first part. Consider revising or deleting parts. He might kill that person for being involved in his business. But I was not scaredcomma and I helped Jenifer right away because I cared a lot about her Divide into two sentences here. and I do not think any woman should be in any abusive situation. Every women<~~use singular form, not plural has the right of making their<~~use singular, not plural own decisions.

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