Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem "Success” is an apt description of being successful because each line in the poem reflects motivation upon the reader. His poem tells all readers to be responsible, respectful, and strong in life. It gives them the willpower to be sympathetic and do good deeds. Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem describes how one can become successful in life by following the radiance of the heart filled with compassion and love, which once brought out, will make everything more serene. This poem signifies how one can stay content if they change themselves from discourteous to polite and lead others the right way. This poem gives out motivation and inspires others to keep on moving in the right direction. I wholeheartedly agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson’s description of the concept of being successful in his poem “Success”.
Please tell me if this sounds good.
It is much, much better than the original. The first sentence is 23 words long. That is hard for many readers to take on in the first line.
Some of your word choices are awkward, such as
reflects motivation upon
the radiance of the heart filled with compassion and love...
signifies how...
lead others the right way.
gives out motivation
moving in the right direction
What I wonder if you could simplify what you want to say in those? I think you can.
Do that, and it will read smoothly.
Keep up the good work. The art of expression in writing is gained through practice, rewriting, and choosing words carefully. Emerson was one of the masters.
These are examples of awkward phrasing:
"reflects motivation upon the reader"
"gives out motivation"
Grammatically, everything else looks good. I find a lot of vague phrasing without specific examples or details to explain them (make them not vague). I find no reference to some of the very specific things in the poem in the first place (such as the line about having a healthy child). If your teacher doesn't give you an A, you'll know why.
Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem "Success” is an apt description of being successful because every line has a special meaning. His poem tells all readers to be responsible, respectful, and strong in life. It gives them the willpower to be sympathetic and do good deeds. Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem describes how one can become successful in life by following their hearts and doing justice to others. This poem explains that one can stay content if they change themselves from discourteous to polite. This poem inspires others to be courteous and joyful. It basically tells all the readers to instil themselves and others with good values. I wholeheartedly agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson’s description of the concept of being successful in his poem “Success”.
Your paragraph does a good job of explaining your agreement with Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem "Success", but it could benefit from some reorganization and clarification. Here's a suggestion:
Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem "Success” serves as a compelling depiction of what it means to achieve success, as each line in the poem instills motivation within the reader. By emphasizing the importance of responsibility, respect, and strength, the poem encourages individuals to embody these qualities in their lives. Moreover, it inspires one to cultivate compassion and engage in acts of kindness by illuminating the transformative power of a heart filled with love. Emerson's poem highlights the significance of personal growth, illustrating how adopting an attitude of politeness and guiding others towards the right path can lead to contentment. Ultimately, "Success" serves as an unwavering source of motivation, inspiring individuals to persevere and make progress in their journey towards success. With its profound message, I wholeheartedly agree with Emerson's description of success in this poem.
I hope this revised paragraph captures your thoughts accurately and offers a clearer explanation of your agreement with Emerson's poem.