Reword. Don't shorten. Don't exaggerate. Rewove the quotes/dialogue and instead describe what the said unquoted.
In the year 2735, Loba, Lifeline, and Mad Maggie discovered Skudge at a bar on Salvo. Skudge greeted Maggie warmly, but showed little regard for Lifeline and Loba, considering them to be Syndicate scum. He refused to provide any information about Torres Silva. In a motivational act, Maggie stabbed three darts into Skudge's hand while he pleaded, "Things have changed, Mags." Maggie responded, "Oh, but I haven't changed, Skudge." When questioned about his fear of Lifeline, Skudge removed the darts and forcefully embedded them into a map behind him, stating, "This will demonstrate why..."
Following Skudge's indication, Maggie, Lifeline, and Loba arrived at the location he marked, which turned out to be a concealed facility in the desert. After activating the Spectre security system and obtaining valuable information, the three managed to escape with the assistance of Valkyrie. Unbeknownst to the others, Loba discreetly took hold of a mysterious item.
In the year 2735, Loba, Lifeline, and Mad Maggie encountered Skudge at a bar on Salvo. Skudge warmly greeted Maggie but showed indifference towards Lifeline and Loba, dismissing them as members of the Syndicate. He refused to give any details about Torres Silva. In an attempt to motivate him, Maggie forcefully stabbed three darts into Skudge's hand as he pleaded for mercy. Maggie coldly responded, asserting that she had not changed. Skudge, when questioned about his fear of Lifeline, ripped out the darts from his hand and forcefully lodged them into a map behind him, explaining that it would demonstrate why he was afraid.
Following Skudge's suggestion, Maggie, Lifeline, and Loba arrived at the location marked on the map, which turned out to be a hidden facility in the desert. They activated the Spectre security system and collected valuable information before escaping with the help of Valkyrie. Unbeknownst to the others, Loba discreetly obtained a mysterious item during their escape.
Make this casual.
I have already killed 41 demons, and my present rank is Kinoe. If I manage to slay nine more demons or even a Twelve Kizuki, I will earn the title of Nova Hashira. Does 'Nova Hashira' sound good to you? I think it sounds good. But I want to know what you think.
I've already taken down 41 demons, and I'm currently ranked as Kinoe. If I can defeat nine more demons or even one of the Twelve Kizuki, I'll level up to become a Nova Hashira. How does "Nova Hashira" sound to you? Personally, I think it's pretty cool, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.
In the year 2735, Loba, Lifeline, and Mad Maggie encountered Skudge at a bar on Salvo. Skudge warmly greeted Maggie, but showed disdain for Lifeline and Loba, considering them to be part of the Syndicate. He refused to share any information about Torres Silva. To motivate him, Maggie thrust three darts into Skudge's hand while he pleaded for mercy. Maggie simply replied that she hadn't changed. Skudge, when asked about his fear of Lifeline, forcefully embedded the darts into a nearby map, explaining that it would demonstrate why.
Following Skudge's instructions, Maggie, Lifeline, and Loba arrived at the marked location, which turned out to be a concealed facility in the desert. They activated the Spectre security system and successfully gathered valuable information. With the help of Valkyrie, the three managed to escape from the facility. Unbeknownst to her companions, Loba discreetly acquired a mysterious item.