I don't understand WHY we do certain steps, so I end up doing all the steps incorrectly. Take for example 16-2r=-3r+6r+1. The first step is take away 3r from both sides, yet I don't understand WHY we do that first, instead of say taking away 2r or taking away 1 from both sides, or take away 16 from both sides.

The first thing I would do is combine all the r stuff on each side

16-2r=-3r+6r+1
16-2r=3r+1
Now collect the r stuff on one side:
16=5r+1
now isolate the r stuff
15=5r
and finally isolate r by itself
3=r

Your suggestion of "taking away 2r" would only make things worse, since it was already -2r:
16-2r=-3r+6r+1
16-4r=-3r+6r+1-2r

The reason why we take away 3r from both sides first is because it will simplify the equation. By taking away 3r from both sides, we are left with -2r = 6r + 1. This is much simpler than the original equation, and it will make it easier to solve.

But how am I suppose to know as what classifies as making it simpler? Why not take away 2r from both sides so the equation becomes 16=r+1?

I should i have said add 2r. But how do you know what number to use when you're simplifying? Is the goal to prevent negatives?