Paragraph 2
Background
Your favorite cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job. Her previous experiences are working as a cashier and sales clerk at two department stores. You know she plans to apply to similar stores in your town. But you also know she is a perfect match for a job opening as a reliable assistant to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she doesn’t think she is as capable as she is, and you’re sure she’d be good at this job.
Your goal is to persuade your cousin to apply for the job. You email her a paragraph explaining the specifics of the job and the reasons she should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job skills required. You’ll use an informal tone, of course, but will take care to use correct business writing to show her that you take your recommendation seriously.
Hey Claire!
I am excited you have returned to Treasure Cay! The jobs here are in high demand for workers, since after the storm. Last week I was having a conversation with my boss Mr. Miller, and he is looking for an Assistant. Due to the increase in sales over the last year, he is desperate to find an Assistant. After we spoke my mind went on you and I know you would be perfect for this position. Your ability to be patient and work quickly in a demanding situation is the reason you should apply for this job. This position allows you to do everything you love. For example, you will be able to:
Organize files
Schedule appointments
Receive guests
Handle incoming calls and other communications
Organized travel by booking accommodations.
You are a very detailed, and organized person. At our company, we have great employee benefits that would be good for you and your family. I encourage you to apply for this position because I have already put in a word for you with my boss. I believe that this position will open other doors for you, and provide you with stability. I look forward to seeing your application on our desk very soon. I hope to hear from you soon.
Your favorite Cousin
since the storm — omit “after”
Organize (not Organized)
No comma after “detailed”
Otherwise, it reads well.
Hey Claire!
I hope you're settling into Treasure Cay well. I wanted to let you know about an exciting job opportunity that I think would be a great fit for you. As you know, the job market here has been booming since the storm, and my boss, Mr. Miller, is currently in desperate need of an Assistant.
I immediately thought of you when he mentioned the position, because I know firsthand how capable and reliable you are. Your experience working as a cashier and sales clerk at department stores has given you valuable skills that would transfer well to this role.
As Mr. Miller explained, the Assistant position is crucial due to the increase in sales over the last year. It requires someone who can be patient and work quickly in demanding situations, and I couldn't think of a better person than you.
In this role, you will get to do everything you enjoy. You'll be responsible for organizing files, scheduling appointments, receiving guests, handling incoming calls and other communications, and even organizing travel by booking accommodations. Your attention to detail and organizational skills will truly shine in this position.
On top of that, our company offers great employee benefits that would not only be beneficial for you but for your family as well. I also want to let you know that I've already put in a good word for you with Mr. Miller, so you have a head start.
I truly believe that this opportunity could not only provide you with stability but also open doors for future growth. I can't wait to see your application on his desk very soon. Let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything else I can do to help. I hope to hear from you soon.
Best,
Your favorite Cousin