I asked a question before about bullying. Can you please check for improvements on this paragraph and suggest any improvements to make it more ineresting. Thank you.
He strides towards one of the girls, who carried a large rucksack, which sagged with a lack of life. Looking around cautiously, he quickly unzips the bag and heap of books tumble out.
The girl shamelessly looks around with embarrassment. she quickly picks up her books, which is soaking wet with water. With shame and horror she rushes towards the bus, hoping that this bewildering experience is never bought up again. The boy laughed with his achievement. The vice principle, upon realising the poor behaviour that he displays, quickly paces over to him, with an aura emitting authority and confidence.
'You! Yes You! To my office, NOW' (how can I decribe how she said this)
'What I didn't...' the boy attempts to argue but fails as there is no arguing witht the pointy finger.
Please use the same tense throughout this paragraph.
Watch your subject/verb agreement.
Proofread again and again.
Yes I noticed as soon as I posted this. I have fixed the tenses.
what do you mean with subject/verb agreement? Where have I gone wrong in this?
http://www.towson.edu/ows/moduleSVAGR.htm
The girl shamelessly looks around with embarrassment. she quickly picks up her books, which is soaking wet with water.
shall i put this...
the girl looks around with embarrassment. she picks up her books, which is soaking wet with water.