English (I added more)

Like a teenager’s selfish desire to obtain status through possessions, Paul’s mother demonstrates the same immature emphasis on the importance of material objects and outward appearance in D.H Lawrence’s short story “The Rocking-Horse Winner.” This wonderful depiction of the destructive nature of materialism sets an example for all. As the mother’s wanting exceeds the family’s income her selfishness places a strain on the entire household, ultimately leading to disastrous consequences.
Young Paul desires the love of a cold and distant mother and is determined to find the luck that his mother insists their family lacks. According to her, luck leads to money and their household never seems to have enough to suit her. Paul recognizes the anxiety as the house seems to whisper “there must be more money.” He desperately rides his rocking horse until a voice tells him the winner of the local horse derby. He continuously bets money when he claims to “know” hoping to gain money to satisfy his mother and in return gain her love. With more money, the whisper in the house becomes louder until it is eventually a scream as his mother spends the money as quickly as she receives it. In the end Paul rides so long and hard to find a winner that he dies, leaving his family with 80,000 pounds. Paul’s last words: “Mother, did I ever tell you? I am lucky!”
Though one might be appalled by Paul’s mother’s actions and selfishness, the reader cannot help but to connect with Paul and his kind-hearted nature. D.H. Lawrence paints Paul’s character with the brightest of colors of determination and love.

I don't think my conclusion is really long enough...But I feel like I'm going to sound repetitious if I continue to write about Paul or his mother...
basically his mother is selfish
paul is a "picture perfect" character.

Am I supposed to use "I" in a book review or refer to "the reader"

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  1. it didn't all show up:
    Though one might be appalled by Paul’s mother’s actions and selfishness, the reader cannot help but to connect with Paul and his kind-hearted nature. D.H. Lawrence paints Paul’s character with the brightest of colors of determination and love.

    Am I supposed to use "I" in a book review or "the reader?"

    Also, any ideas about what else I could include about the characters...I don't want to sound repetitious and I guess I'm just having writers block

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  2. Though one might be appalled by Paul’s mother’s actions and selfishness, the reader cannot help but to connect with Paul and his kind-hearted nature. Why? In detail, what is so compelling about Paul and his "kind-hearted nature"? You need to add details - lots of details. Where do the details come from? They come from the text and from your interpretation of the text.

    D.H. Lawrence paints Paul’s character with the brightest of colors of determination and love.
    What does that mean - "the brightest of colors of determination and love"? You have topic sentences here but no paragraph development - no details, no explanations.

    Keep writing!

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