Though it is a history essay, my question has to do with writing and essay. The following is what I submitted for an essay and was told it was good but it lacked an introduction and thesis. My first paragraph is what I thought was a sufficient introduction and thesis. Could you suggest ways in which I could improve?
The British had unsuccessfully presented a new collection of taxes, the Townsend Duties, in 1767. After the introduction basically everything remained stable (Goldfield 98), the “quiet period,” until Britain made yet another try to make the colonies comply with the one duty still on the books, the duty on tea (Namaroto 30). During the “quiet period,” Americans drank smuggled (and therefore untaxed) Dutch tea, making the British East India Company almost bankrupt (Goldfield 99). Lord North, the British Prime Minister tried to save it with the Tea Act of 1773. This act would allow the company to ship tea from its Britain warehouses and not have to pay the normal collected duty. The objective being to make the tea competitive in price to the Dutch tea. That way Americans would be encouraged to buy it while at the same time pay the Townsend Duty. A response of American outrage, repressive measures from British officials and the First Continental Congress would all be resultant of the 1773 Tea Act.
The Americans were outraged as a result of the Tea Act of 1773. The Britains were surprised by the colonists response, but they were outraged because they felt they were tricked into paying the tax on tea. Large numbers of Americans flat out would not even handle the tea. Women especially fully rejected it going as far as to offer alternative recipes. Young boys were known to burn tea leaves in response. Colonists newspapers extolled the dangers of it to the human boyd and to the body politic (Goldfield 99). Thomas Hutchinson, Colony Royal Governor was adamant to have the tea land in Boston, contrary to returning to England as was dictated by the Sons of Liberty. As a result, violence broke out in the city once again. When the Sons of Liberty realized that they could not force the ships to leave, the Boston Tea Party would errupt. The colonists felt that Parliament to be a party to conspire against them, and it shocked and offended them (Goldfried 99)
British officials reacted very strongly after the destruction from the Boston Tea Party (Goldfried 99). A bunch of repressive measures put together the Coercive Acts and were passed by Parliament. The Boston Port Act closed the Port of Boston, with the crown getting payment for dumped tea. Other Acts such as the Justice, Government Quartering and Quebec Acts, among others provided for trail of civil cases with out a jury,. The colonists called these acts, “Intolerable.”From Britains perspective the measures it took in the wake of the French and Indian War were a reasonable response.
As a result of the Continental Congress was born. It was an organized response and called for meetings which all colonists were represented at except for Georgia. The attempts to protect their accustomed autonomy, first brought the colonial asseemblies into conflict with Parliament. Asserting their rights led the individual colonies to cooperate more among themselves. The Suffok resolves were developed and said that the Coercive acts were unconstitutional. General Economic sanctions against Britain were called for. It was basically due to these resolves that a Britain official would say about colonies, “They have declared war on us” (Goldfield 100). This was a step toward American's consciousness of tehir common interests and their differences from the English in order to “comprehend the character they had assumed” (Ben Franklin).
A response of American outrage, repressive measures from British officials and the First Continental Congress would all be resultant of the 1773 Tea Act. First the Americans were outraged as a result of the Tea Act of 1773, the Britains were surprised by the colonists response, then British officials reacted very strongly after the destruction from the Boston Tea Party (Goldfried 99). Next, A bunch of repressive measures put together the Coercive Acts and were passed by Parliament. Americans considered themselves good British subjects and were more democratic then the English. The British recognized this and feared that it might lead them to reject British controls, but the steps they took to counter this backfired. From the colonists point of view, taken one by one, these were a rain of blows that impelled them to rebel.
To improve your introduction and thesis, you can start by providing some background information to set the context for your essay. This will help the reader understand the significance of the events you are discussing. Here is a suggestion for an improved introduction and thesis:
In the tumultuous years leading up to the American Revolution, tensions between the American colonies and Britain were escalating. One key turning point in this conflict was the passage of the Tea Act of 1773 by the British Parliament. This act, aimed at boosting the struggling British East India Company, had far-reaching consequences and triggered a series of events that would ultimately shape the course of American history. From the outraged response of American colonists, to the repressive measures taken by British officials, and the subsequent convening of the First Continental Congress, the Tea Act of 1773 served as a catalyst for the growing resistance and eventual rebellion against British rule. In this essay, we will explore the causes and effects of the Tea Act, shedding light on the complex dynamics that fueled the American colonists' journey towards independence.
In this revised introduction and thesis, the background and significance of the Tea Act are introduced, and the main points that will be explored in the essay are outlined. This sets the stage for a more comprehensive and coherent analysis of the subject.