Review Story

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Can you please review this summary of the New Kingdom of Egypt I did for Geography? Its just suppose to be a basic summary. I mainly struggle with capitalization and I never know what should and shouldn't be capitalized. Also, is there anyway I could make the last sentence more, appealing and sound more presentable? Thank you so much! :)

New Kingdom of Egypt
By: Bryce
The New Kingdom of Egypt had a great impact on the Egyptian civilization because it boasted many of the most famous pharaohs Egypt is known for. It lasted from 1570 to 1070 BC, and many great pharaohs, such as King Tutankhamen, reigned during this time period. The New Kingdom is also known for its great military expansion, developments in art and architecture, and religious innovations. The New Kingdom played a key role in the expansion of the Egyptian empire.
One of the most important goals for the pharaohs was the building of their tombs. The Valley of the Kings, one of the most popular tombs of the New Kingdom, stands on the west bank of the Nile River. It was a major burial place for royal figures in the New Kingdom era. It contains 63 tombs, and each are decorated with scenes from Egyptian mythology. Almost all of the tombs have been robbed, but they still show how complex and important the pharaohs were considering the amount of labor that was put into building the massive tomb. The Valley of the Kings is most popular for the discovery of King Tutankhamen on November 4th, 1922 by Howard Carter. Archaeologists are working on preserving and repairing the tomb for further exploration.
The New Kingdom is also known for the creation of the sun god Aten, who King Akhenaten established. Aten was said to be the first monotheistic god, because people strictly only worshipped one god. Akhenaten worked very hard to diminish the idea of the older gods so people would furthermore worship Aten, but his hard work never payed off. The Egyptian people never accepted the king’s religion and view of the world. When the king died, the worship of Aten died out rapidly mainly because the people never had a firm belief system in the god and were forced to worship him. Akhenaten became known as the "Heretic King" for being the first person to worship only one god.

When Akhenaten passed, he left in Egypt in a very poor state. His religious extremism had his own country on the verge of extinction. The next to heir the throne was his nine year old son by a minor wife named Tutankhamen. The people saw King Tutankhamen as a new beginning for their civilization, and hoped that one day he would be bring Egypt back to its old customs and values. Just as the people had hoped, he did just that. Tutankhamen ordered that all the old gods and temples be restored, along with the power the priests once had. He also ordered that Aten, God of the Sun, be officially erased from history. Tutankhamen’s reign came to a halt when he passed away at age nineteen.
The New Kingdom of Egypt reached the height of its military power when King Tuthmosis III reigned. His expeditions brought the eastern coast and Mediterranean Sea under Egyptian rule. Tuthmosis III conquered more land than any pharaoh before him, and made Egypt thrive. His army consisted of over 20,000 men. He also gave the military many benefits such as great food and plenty of water. Enlisting in his military was a smart career move in their day. When his career came to a close, Egypt controlled Nubia, the Syrian and Lebanese coasts, and vast areas of Israel and Palestine. He had constructed the biggest empire ever conquered and ruled by one king.
The New Kingdom of Egypt played a significant part in the history and culture of Egypt. Although there was a great downfall during this era, this was also a great uprising for the people in this civilization. By the time this era had ended, Egypt had been thriving and much more established than it had been ever before. This era also helped pave the way to Egypt’s great success as a civilization because it boasted many of the great pharaohs Egypt is known for. Thanks to all of the accomplishments many of the pharaohs had made, The New Kingdom era of Egypt has been made unforgettable.

  • Review Story -

    "one of the most popular tombs"
    The Valley of the Kings is not one tomb. It's an area where there are many tombs, as you stated later in this paragraph.

    "each are"
    The pronoun "each" is always singular; what singular verb do you need to use with it?

    "most popular for the discovery of King Tutankhamen"
    I think you mean best known for the discovery of King Tutankhamen's tomb...

    Put a comma AFTER the year as well as BEFORE it.

    "for the creation of the sun god Aten, who King Akhenaten established. Aten was said to be the first monotheistic god, because people strictly only worshipped one god."
    This is strangely phrased. Was the god actually created? How does one create a god?? And ... the religion or the people would be monotheistic, not the god.

    "When Akhenaten passed,"
    I think you mean when he died, right?

    "The next to heir the throne"

    "a minor wife named Tutankhamen"
    That was the wife's name?

    "When his career came to a close"
    I think you mean his reign ...

    "a great uprising"
    a civil war??

  • Review Story -

    Thanks so much! I will do the corrections and change some things around.

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