english103 - Writeacher
posted by Farrell .
Ms. Writeacher, I worked on my thesis a bit, please tell me what you think on my thesis, intro, and outline. It's only going to be a 3-4 page paper. Assignment instructions were in my other posts.
I’d like to define the traditional family and compare it to a modern television show today such as “The Kardashians” and argue that even though the traditional family holds family values and morals, a more modernized family can bring unity because there is more communication involved, more democracy and decision-making, and gender roles are also being switched in certain areas as well.
Introduction: Traditional vs Modern
The modernized family today is nowhere close to what you’re traditional family back in the 50’s use to be. Or at least that is how television portrays them to be. A ‘normal’ traditional family would commonly consist of two parents which is a mother and a father, and a few children living in a two story house. And they would all live together in harmony, compatible with each other; mother is a housewife staying at home taking care of the children while the husband being the typical breadwinner, goes out to work to support the family. But does this type of family household describe your typical family today in the modern world? A lot has changed since the 50’s and there really isn't many families that represent television shows such as "Leave it to Beaver" or "Lassie" anymore. And one might think that this may not be such a good thing but the more recent version of what family values represent today may have more positive qualities than one may think. Thesis: Even though the an old fashioned family of the 50’s may hold morals and traditional family values, a more modernized family such as the “Kardashians” may have some real advantages compared to the old fashion family, such as more democracy and freedom, better communication also due to technology, and gender roles being switched between parents.
OUTLINE: Traditional vs Modern
A. Sex and pregnancy was not to be talked about whether in private or public. Now it’s okay to talk about these things and the Kardashians have no problem being open when discussing topics that would been uncomfortable or unacceptable to be spoken about back in the 50’s
B. Families back then just did what was their role without complaining discussing their feelings. And now that we have advanced technology such as email, the internet, and cell phones, families can communicate with each other much better than before which can bring a family closer.
A. The husband/father use to be the dominant one in the family. He was the one to make majority of the decisions and that was it. However, in today’s modern family, both parents seem to take be equal and both now participate in decision-making, not just the father. In the TV series, the Kardashians, Kris Jenner makes a lot of her own decisions and sometimes makes decisions for the family as well.
B. Children gets to participate in decision-making and as well as making their own choices depending on the situation. In the Kardashians, the children also have a say in some of the decision process which can bring unity in the family.
C. Gender Roles
1. Gender roles back then for husbands/fathers were to work and be served at home. It was not common for the male to do too much house work, only to go to work and make money. The Kardashian mother is a workaholic, more than the father, not something you would have seen in the 50’s.
2. The woman’s role is commonly known for doing all if not most of the house hold chores such as doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. Some might have worked, however, the husband is usually the bread winner. Women are now going to school for a career and doing jobs that was not well known for a woman to traditionally do. The Kardashian father cleans, cooks, and even takes the children to soccer games and doctor appointments.
The definition of family is definitely evolving as time goes by and it sometimes changes pretty quickly. Everyone will have different family values, some will remain traditional, while others will change with the times and that is what will help a family grow stronger together.
If you are to write an argumentative paper, then you have chosen a topic that is certainly controversial! Is that what you're supposed to do?
It looks as if you're already writing the rough draft!! This isn't an outline, though.
Take a look here: http://i.ehow.com/images/a02/0p/ra/construct-five-paragraph-essay-800X800.jpg
An outline is like a skeleton, in a way. You organize the main facts and supporting details you need WITHOUT WRITING FULL SENTENCES AND PARAGRAPHS in order to see at a glance how you plan to organize your thoughts.
Please just give us the skeleton.
(I'll read the rest over and get back to you in a while.)
english103 - Writeacher -
Your view of the "traditional" family roles is from the movies. Have you watched "Cheaper by the dozen"? That is what my experience is on the traditional family...who exactly is in charge of the family?
So you are comparing, in my opinion, a "traditional" construct versus a mythical fiction TV family? Hmmmm.
I agree you are making an argument, but I am wondering if it is more on gender roles than family?
1. There are several flaws throughout the paper, mostly of the "sweeping generalization" or "hasty generalization" type.
From http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/writing-the-paper/fallacies#section-4 :
Definition: Making assumptions about a whole group or range of cases based on a sample that is inadequate (usually because it is atypical or too small). Stereotypes about people ("librarians are shy and smart," "wealthy people are snobs," etc.) are a common example of the principle underlying hasty generalization.
Example: "My roommate said her philosophy class was hard, and the one I'm in is hard, too. All philosophy classes must be hard!" Two people's experiences are, in this case, not enough on which to base a conclusion.
Tip: Ask yourself what kind of "sample" you're using: Are you relying on the opinions or experiences of just a few people, or your own experience in just a few situations? If so, consider whether you need more evidence, or perhaps a less sweeping conclusion. (Notice that in the example, the more modest conclusion "Some philosophy classes are hard for some students" would not be a hasty generalization.)
How will you fix those?
2. You need to get rid of all instances of "you" and any of its forms.
3. Make sure there are no run-ons or fragments:
english103 - Writeacher -
This is why I included writing instructions from my instructor in my other post, but Ms. Sue saw it and was over whelmed with all the writing that she didn't want to take a look at it. I'd like to repost with my instructors instructions on the writing assingment so you guys can undersstand what I'm suppose to be writing about. She wants me to define 'my own' definition of 'family' it's a 'defitional' argument paper. I should have included that part. So the generalizing and stereotyping, I think that should be okay because it's a definitional essay.
Also I was trying to be specific in my outline, just throw out ideas, that is not my rough draft, only my intro I have finished. I will write it in third person definitely.
I will repost with instructions if it's okay.
Thank you guys!!
Actually I will just post my assignment here and see if you guys come back to respond again. If no response within the next hour, I will repost.
Argument Essay: Definition
General Topic: The Myth of the Model Family
WHAT TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE YOU GET STARTED
It is necessary to understand the elements of a strong definitional argument, including the different types of definitions: formal definitions, operational definitions, and definitions by example. Arguments of definition answer the stasis question “What is the nature?” An effective definition will contain the following:
• A clear definitional claim
• Text-based (both written and visual) evidence
• A balance of appeals: ethos, pathos, logos
Pages 268—273 (Everything's an Argument) offer a fantastic guide through the steps of developing an argument of definition. Along with these guidelines, focus on the Writing Goals I’ve listed below.
As we’ve read and discussed, the idea of the “true” modern family is hard to define. Television shows can amplify our confusion or clarify our positions on the definition of family. Shows like “Leave It to Beaver” and “Seventh Heaven” portray a traditional idea of the nuclear family, while shows like “Diff’rent Strokes” and “Gene Simmons: Family Jewels” break convention. Over the years, soap operas, sitcoms (situation comedies), reality shows, documentaries, and dramas have continued to define and redefine family and family values.
Before you get started, you need to focus on one definition of family: modern family, one-parent family, “traditional” family, nuclear family, anti-family, etc. You may choose any definition you’d like—yours or that of another person/author.
Then you will watch one episode of a television show that focuses on family or family issues. You will compare the show’s definition of family to your own. Your definition might answer questions like the following: What type of family is the program portraying? Is it in support of or contrary to your definition? What assertion is the program making about families? Are there specific warrants that need to be exposed? How does this show highlight a common definition of family or create a new definition of family? Please remember that this is an argument, not an opinion piece.
WRITING GOAL # 1: CLAIM
This essay will culminate in a controversial definition, so you must create an assertion (arguable opinion) and craft a clear claim. Your claim should be in a logical position within your introduction, and it must outline the topic and scope of your discussion. Be sure to use appropriate qualifiers (review Toulmin method notes). Something like following can be an effective definitional claim: “The debate over the definitions of masculinity and femininity has affected the workplace, the school yard, and the bedroom.”
WRITING GOAL # 2: DEFINITIONS
Try to use all of the definition types you learned about in Ch. 9.: formal, operational, and example-based. Be sure to balance the types you use. You don’t, for instance, want to rely too heavily on formal definitions, neglecting questions related to conditions or fulfillment of conditions. Avoid rote dictionary definitions: “Webster’s Dictionary defines family as…” That is an overused technique and does not forward the goal of providing your audience with new knowledge. Alternative lexicons, however, might be interesting to explore—slang dictionaries, idiom dictionaries, dictionaries that language learners use for translation, etc.
WRITING GOAL # 3: EVIDENCE
In addition to your perspective of the family definition you choose, you must include 3 outside sources. Your sources must include the television episode you use and one additional source that is not a reference material. The third source is your choice and may include a visual text, an interview, a sociology textbook, a religious manuscript, or anything else that will help you develop a robust definition.
A SUCCESSFUL ESSAY will demonstrate your critical reading skills (written and visual texts), your comprehension of argument fundamentals, your ability to organize a definitional argument, and your ability to locate and incorporate outside sources.
• 3—4 typed, double-spaced, proofread pages in MLA format (1” margins, 12-point Times/Courier, heading).
• A works cited including all additional outside sources (the requirements of which are detailed in the EVIDENCE section of the prompt). Your works cited page must be formatted according to MLA standards and should appear as the last consecutively numbered page of your essay. Your textbook has information on formatting works cited entries for most source types. You might also consider easybibcom to help with your formatting.
• A clear, concise, and directed claim. Please underline your entire claim.
• A compelling title that lets your reader know the subject and position of your argument. Review the model essay’s we’ve read for examples of strong titles.
english103 - Writeacher -
The instructor asked us first to come up with what type of family we wanted to include in our paper, come up with our own definition, because it is a definitional essay, and then come up with any tv show and compare family values of both. For example, does the tv show's family value meet my own definition of family (i'm going to talk about traditional) or does it go against the type of family I'm talking about. She wants us to define these families ourselves. And come up with an argument, I guess for example, one parent families are just as good as a two parent, or gay parent families can raise children just as good as a heterosexual, or vice versa, something like that.
She explained it so quickly, I'm still having difficulty trying to figure out if I'm doing it right. But I think I'm going the right direction.
I'm going to definte what I feel is a traditional family, which is the 50's such as Leave it to Beaver, and then compare it to a modern family and compare it to the TV Reality Series Keeping Up with the Kardashians and argue that even though the traditional family has morals and traditional family values, that the modern family has many more advantages such as more democracy and individual freedom, better communication, and shared roles.
My third part, the shared roles, I don't know how to say that part, that's why I wrote out the outline so you can figure out what I'm trying to say. I'd like to say that traditional roles are no longer the norm, and now gender roles are being switched.
Please let me know what you think.
Traditional vs Modern (have not figured out a title yet)
a. Family members have more freedom to make decisions.
b. Traditional families did not have much of this freedom.
a. Family tends to communicate better today, especially due to technology.
b. Traditional families, the husband/father was the dominant one and he made majority of the decisions, no questions asked. Sex and pregnancy was not to be talked about.
3. Stereotypical Roles
a. Mothers/wives now have careers other than your typical nurse or teacher.
b. Fathers/husbands in the 50's would not usually cook, clean or do laundry. Some now are stay home dad's and take care of the children.
Would this be okay as an outline??