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English Sentence correction

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Please help me revise this sentence. The following sentence has many problems in grammar, sentence structure, and words. Correct the sentence:

BEFORE: Cindy met this cool guy last night who helped her when she dropped her cellphone walking through the mall; She defiantly wants to go out with him.

After: When Cindy dropped her cellphone while waking through the mall, she met a cool guy who helped her. She defiantly wants to get to know him better.

  • English Sentence correction -

    Everything's fine except this word:


    (You have a completely different word there.)

  • English Sentence correction -

    Last night at the mall, Cindy dropped her cellphone while walking and this guy helped her. Now, she definitely wants to go out with him.

    That's how I'd do it :)

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