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hows my outline look?

Outline:

1)Post secondary education is unaffordable
A)Poor students can’t afford tuition
(Stat) tuition has increased by Fifty-percent
B) The Government has implemented grants, scholarships and student loans to help.

Thesis: I’m going to write about education and prove free-tuition is need for poor and marginal students.

2)Many people believe it may burden the government
A) For instance funds have to be diverted
B) Also, tax would increase for extra expenditures.

1)It also provides long-term economic advantages by creating a skilled workforce.
A)University grads can compete in the global economy
(Example) everyone needs a degree to compete in the global economy
B) They also pay more taxes over their lifetime
B) They drain fewer resources by working.
(Example) Graduates are unemployed less

B)Also the Government will not incur the cost of defaulted student loans.
a. High debt loads are not being paid
(Stat) 800 million overdue on defaulted loans
b.Relief programs are faulty
(Fact) Debt management programs require loans to be in good standing (not in default) to qualify for hardship programs-
c. Collection agencies are counterintuitive

5) Free tuition allows marginalized students to contribute without the need for student loans.

  • eng -

    Outline:







    4) Also the Government will not incur the cost of defaulted student loans.
    a. High debt loads are not being paid
    (Stat) 800 million overdue on defaulted loans
    b. Relief programs are faulty
    (Fact) Debt management programs require loans to be in good standing (not in default) to qualify for hardship programs-
    c. Collection agencies are counterintuitive

    5) Free tuition allows marginalized students to contribute without the need for student loans.

  • English -

    Your thesis is awful ... unless you are in second grade and just learning how to write them.

    Get rid of the "I'm going to" part and rephrase completely. Read through the examples and corrections in this website before you start to rephrase:
    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

    Once you've fixed the thesis, we can discuss the rest of it.

  • English -

    no kidding that's the way they want it for the outline. They also want us to show our stylistic devices in the outline.

    Just a weird way of learning it.

  • English -

    Who are "they"?

  • English -

    teacher

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