Can someone please read this paper and give me any feedback to help improve this paper. I'm not good at writing papers. Thanks
In 2005 the Dial Corporation announced that it would be laying fifty people off for the needs of the business. the fifty people were permitted to finish out that year of service but come the new year there were to be a lot of changes made at the Dial corporation a lot of these changes many people were not sure about but Dial had many plans up there sleeve at the time of all these changes. One of the major changes made was that there would no longer be teams across the floor there would be P. C. ‘s or production centers there would no longer be four but only three and with in theses pace’s there were only allowed seven individuals to make up this pc where before in the teams you had ten people to a pc some times even eleven depending on what team you were in because there were two people to every line that was no longer the case because they cut back on there work force they didn’t have enough people to do this any more so some of the lines were being staffed with only one person. Which we all couldn’t understand why they would make such a (in our minds) silly decision you would risk that bad product get out to the customer by only having one person to a line the lines there are at least six different areas of machinery that you have to watch fix as well as clean at the end of your shift. But little did we know at the time that because they didn’t have to pay those extra fifty people there wages and benefits they were able to add on to the Dial corp. Business this had been the plan all along they were biding on right guard deodorant lines and had to show that they had the budget to do it with these right guard lines in they would be able to make more of a profit and would have to hire more people to run the lines so there for now that they had new lines in that would make them a lot more money the could hire us back as well as hire more people at lower wages to run the deodorant lines so in conclusion the cause of the whole ordeal was the purchase of the deodorant lines the effect was the laying off of fifty people who had been there for between ten and one year, though we had all been with this company for different lengths of time we all returned with the hope that this would be a great place to save up money and time to do other things like school but at the same time we still come in and do the job that was set before us and I still think of all of them as my second family I believe that we have great work ethic who could come to work at the age we are with all there other things out there that we could do both lea gel and illegal but we all managed to choose the right thing to do by going back to the job that had betrayed us
Fix all capitalization and punctuation problems, including fixing run-ons.
Press the Enter key a couple of times between paragraphs -- surely this isn't one LONG paragraph!
Then repost.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/capitals.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
To provide feedback on the paper and help improve it, here are some suggestions:
1. Structure and Organization: The paper lacks a clear structure and organization. It would be better to divide it into paragraphs or sections with headings to help the reader understand the different points being made.
2. Grammar and Sentence Structure: There are several grammar and sentence structure issues throughout the paper. It would be beneficial to proofread and revise the paper to correct these errors. For example, pay attention to capitalization, punctuation, and run-on sentences.
3. Clarity and Coherence: Some sentences and ideas seem unclear or disconnected. Try to rephrase complex sentences and clarify the connections between different ideas to improve overall coherence and understanding.
4. Conciseness: The paper could benefit from being more concise and focused. Avoid repetitive statements and unnecessary details that do not contribute to the overall argument or message.
5. Tone and Language: Consider using a more formal tone and academic language when writing a paper. Avoid using colloquial expressions and informal wording to maintain a professional and scholarly tone.
To make further improvements, it would be helpful if you could provide the specific purpose or thesis of the paper. Additionally, if you have any specific concerns or questions about certain sections, please let me know so that I can address them in more detail.