I have to have an introductory paragraph with thesis statement and a good tone is this good?
John D. Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, Cornelius Vanderbilt, were all big business leaders in the 19th century. But many people questioned whether America should view these three men as Captains of Industry or Robber Barons. Although these three men helped in one way or the other to grow business. Vanderbilt is the Robber baron because he hired people to work long hours and they often did not receive a high amount of money for all their hard work. while Rockefeller and Carnegie are Captains of Industry for creating new jobs and donating a lot of money to charities.
John D. Rockefeller was born July 8, 1839 in Richford, New York. He died in his
“winter home” in 1937
What is your thesis statement?
Did you heed all of the advice posted by Writeacher?
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1382106975
yea i read the advice but its still a bit confusing
What is your thesis statement?
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
Where is your outline for this paper?
my thesis statement could be that each of them have to contribute more to give back especially vanderbilt and give all theior employees good pay not cheap labor
outline:
the introduction
then body paragraph 1: biographies, and if i think he is a captain or robber
and evidence to support
paragraph 2 and 3 are the same but different persons
and then the conclusion or summary
Just write your thesis statement here.
thats the trouble i'm having basically because the links don't really help me so i'm pretty much lost
so the paragraph i have is totally wrong?
Yes.
If you're not going to follow our advice and answer our questions, then you don't need to bother to ask us, do you?
Do you mean you didn't understand the link to the thesis statement site? I'm sorry.
yes the links
Please post the outline for your paper.
Why are you trying to impose 21st century ideas/values on 19th century men who long dead?
This is NOT a thesis statement.
my thesis statement could be that each of them have to contribute more to give back especially vanderbilt and give all theior employees good pay not cheap labor
What would "give back" have even meant to these men?
You need to go back into that thesis statement link Ms Sue repeated for you above. Read, study, learn ... and then write a REAL thesis statement.
give back would have meant to give more money to charities and education, give money to the hard workers who worked for them
That's what it means TO US today. I'm asking you what that term would have meant TO THEM when they were alive.
to give a bit of money to their employees, and to get loads of supplies and give a bit of the portion to them?
Rockefeller and charities:
http://www.google.com/search?q=did+john+d+rockefeller+give+money+to+charities&oq=did+john+d+rockefeller+give+money+to+charities&aqs=chrome..69i57j0.14842j0j7&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=119&ie=UTF-8
You can use Google or Bing to find the same kinds of information for the other two.