English-Writing

can u please help me revise my introduction and conclusion paragraph with better wordings.

Introduction paragraph
I have chosen my career field as an accountant but I want to start it with being a bank teller. I want to become a bank teller soon because this profession satisfies my salary goal, applies and improves my math skills and communication skills, and gives me a chance to work around people. The Bank tellers work at different branches of the bank to help and assist customers with their financial transactions. They can pursue promotional jobs by proving their abilities and meeting the criteria of educational requirement and most importantly great customer service.

Conclusion Paragraph
My career goal is to be an account but I want some hand on experience before I start anything of my own. The first thing that came to my mind was working at the bank where I can learn all the necessary things. I can’t wait to start working at the bank as this will later help me in the future.

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asked by zeenat

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