I am in the middle of a draft for my final essay I would like to know what you think and if you think there is something that should be added, deleted, or changed please tell me. This essay is a compare/contrast essay about flat irons and curling irons. I only have the introduction and first paragraph finished.
Flat Irons VS. Curling Irons
Do you have trouble deciding what heated styling utensil will be best for your hair? Both the curling iron and flat iron offer diversity with their styles, tips, results, damage affects, and amount of time each take for completing your desired look. The flat iron also known as a hair straightener is a hair tool that is designed to straighten a person’s hair, there are different ways in which they work. A hair straightener is made with two flat plates that heat up to create the style you want; they come with different plate sizes for different types of hair. Curling irons also called curling tongs are hair tools that use heat for rolling hair into curls; they can create many types of curls with different sizes. There are, spring curling irons have a clip to hold the bottom of your hair as you roll up, with clipless curling irons you wrap the top of your hair around the barrel all the way up to the roots, Marcel curling irons have two handles that make curling your hair quicker but harder, Spiral/Ribbon curling irons have raised ridges so you can guide your hair around quickly and easily, last is the double/triple barrel curling irons create figure 8 loops and waves very quickly because you can use large sections of hair at a time. Although both products appear similar, a closer look at the main details reveals the flat iron as the more effective hair care tool.
There are many different style options you can choose, for the flat iron as well as the curling iron. Both of the utensils can curl and wave your hair flat iron curls tend to be loose, big and don’t normally last that long, curling iron curls can be tight, loose, big, or little and can last for a while, the waves from both utensils look similar when all of your hair is finished. Flat irons are best used for straightening hair but as you read a little bit ago they can also create waves, curls, and eliminate frizz. When styling your hair you need to have the correct plate size, the size you choose depends on your hair type and length. If your hair is thick, coarse, curly you will need an iron that’s 1-1 ½ in. (short hair), 1-2 in. (medium hair), or 1 ½-2 in. (long hair). For normal, medium, wavy hair your iron size will need to be ½ -1 ¼ in. (short hair), 1-1 ½ in. (medium hair), or 1 ¼-2 in. (long hair). If you have thin, fine hair it doesn't matter what size flat iron you use. Curling irons as you read earlier don’t only create curls but also waves. There are different kinds of curls; the one you want will depend on the length of your hair, barrel size, and the curling iron you decide to use. Pencil thin curls need a 3/8 in. barrel, short-medium hair, and a spring curling iron, Shirley Temple curls need a 1/2-5/8 in. barrel, short-medium hair, and a spiral curling iron, classic coil curls need a 1 in. barrel, medium hair, and a spring curling iron, long looping curls need a 1 1/4 in. barrel, medium-long hair, and a spring curling iron, big round curls (Victoria Secret curls) need a 1 1/2+ in. barrel, medium-long hair, and a clipless, Marcel, or spiral/ribbon curling iron, last is loose flowing “S” shaped waves you’ll need a 2+ in. barrel, long hair, and a double/triple barrel or clipless curling iron.
The introduction and first paragraph of your essay provide a good overview of the topic and the main points you will be discussing. However, there are a few suggestions I have for improving the clarity and flow of your writing.
1. In the introduction, consider adding a thesis statement at the end that clearly states your stance on the topic. For example, you could say something like, "While both flat irons and curling irons offer various styling options, the flat iron proves to be a more effective hair care tool due to its versatility and ability to straighten, curl, and eliminate frizz."
2. In the first paragraph, try to break down the information into shorter, more concise sentences. For instance, instead of saying, "The flat iron also known as a hair straightener is a hair tool that is designed to straighten a person’s hair, there are different ways in which they work," you could say, "The flat iron, also known as a hair straightener, is designed to straighten hair using various techniques and methods."
3. Consider organizing your paragraph in a more logical and sequential manner. Instead of jumping between the description of flat irons and curling irons, try to provide information about one type of iron first, then move on to the other. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your comparison.
Overall, your essay shows promise, but it would benefit from a stronger thesis statement and more organized structure.