Thank you. How would you check sentences
numer 3 and 4. I'm not sure about my corrections
Just two things on my previous post.
1)"as long as Dunsinane hill doesn't move towards him " is better than "until Dunsinane hill moves towards him"?
2) Women weren't allowed to act so men had to play also female roles.
Is the position of "also" correct?
Elizabeth was "the" queen of a divided nation OR was queen of a divided nation?
3) She made England a commercial and seafaring power and encouraged the piracy against the Spanish ships for increase the wealth of England.
Correction: She made .... encouraged piracy against captured Spanish ships (and took a share of the profits).
4) She also fought with the Spanish Invincible Armada and defeated them thanks to the English ships that were faster and lower than the Spanish ships and armed with long-range guns.
Correction: The English ships prevailed over the Spanish ones because they were faster, lower and ........
3. If you want to add what's in parentheses in the correction part, then delete "and" before "encouraged" and put commas after "power" and "ships"
4. Your correction is good.
To check sentences 3 and 4 and provide corrections, here's what you can do for each sentence:
3) Sentence: She made England a commercial and seafaring power and encouraged the piracy against the Spanish ships for increase the wealth of England.
Correction: To make the correction, you can rephrase the sentence for clarity and coherence. Here's an example: "She played a significant role in transforming England into a thriving commercial and seafaring nation. Additionally, she endorsed privateering against captured Spanish ships, enabling England to accumulate wealth through the profits."
Explanation: In the correction, I rearranged the structure of the sentence and provided more specific details. By using the term "privateering" instead of "piracy," it gives a more precise and legally sanctioned context for the action. Furthermore, "against captured Spanish ships" clarifies that it was not all Spanish ships being targeted, but specifically those seized by English privateers. Lastly, I mentioned "profits" to emphasize the motivation behind the actions.
4) Sentence: She also fought with the Spanish Invincible Armada and defeated them thanks to the English ships that were faster and lower than the Spanish ships and armed with long-range guns.
Correction: To improve the sentence, consider this revised version: "During the conflict with the Spanish Invincible Armada, she emerged victorious due to the superiority of English ships, which possessed greater speed, lower profiles, and were equipped with long-range guns."
Explanation: In the correction, I rephrased the sentence to provide a clearer and more concise description. By using "during the conflict with" instead of "fought with," it gives a better understanding of the context. The term "emerged victorious" conveys the outcome more effectively. Additionally, I replaced "thanks to" with "due to" for a more formal expression. Describing English ships as having "greater speed, lower profiles" emphasizes the advantages they had over the Spanish ships. Finally, mentioning "equipped with long-range guns" highlights a specific attribute contributing to their success.