Grammar

I'm having trouble with these sentences. The focus is on modifers, shifts and parallel constructions. I've attempted some of the sentences i was wondering if you can check if they are correct. Thank you for the help.

1. We are not only what we eat but also the thoughts we think.

2. According to legend, Schopenhauer believed women were weak in body and their minds didn't have much strength either.

3. The student was encouraged to read Nietzsche from the standpoint of a moralist and as a student of sociology.

4. Topsoil, once blown away, cannot be reclaimed; virgin forests, once we cut them down, cannot be returned.

5. As we continue, I must ask you to banish your notions about Socrates from your mind, if you have any.

7. One reads for pleasure during your spare time.

8. In my library I have several old books from my grandmother in beautiful condition.

9. I was told by a priest that billions of sins live in my souls; and that humans should pray often.

10. The sun on the water was dark and mysterious; the willows lining the shore dripped gracefully in the cattails; the scene was okay, dude.

My answers:
1. We are not what we only eat but also the thoughts we think.
2. According to legend, Schopenhauer believed women were not only weak in body but their minds don't have much strength compared to men.
3. The student was encouraged to read Nietzche from the standpoint as a moralist and as a student of sociology.
4. still don't know how to fix.
5. I must ask you to banish your notions if you have any about Socrates from your mind before we continue.
6. They read for pleasure during their spare time.
7. Marx asserted that the future lay with the masses; Nietzche said we must depend on great men for our survival.
8. My grandmother gave me several old books in beautiful condition in my library.
9. I was told by a priest that billions of sins live in my soul and that I should pray often.
10. still don't get.


1. We are not only what we eat but also the thoughts we think.

2. According to legend, Schopenhauer believed women were weak in body and their minds didn't have much strength either.

3. The student was encouraged to read Nietzsche from the standpoint of a moralist and as a student of sociology.

4. Topsoil, once blown away, cannot be reclaimed; virgin forests, once we cut them down, cannot be returned.

5. As we continue, I must ask you to banish your notions about Socrates from your mind, if you have any.

6. One reads for pleasure during your spare time.

7. ??????????????????

8. In my library I have several old books from my grandmother in beautiful condition.

9. I was told by a priest that billions of sins live in my souls; and that humans should pray often.

10. The sun on the water was dark and mysterious; the willows lining the shore dripped gracefully in the cattails; the scene was okay, dude.

My answers:
1. We are not what we only eat but also the thoughts we think.
The original is correct (… not only … but also … ). The word “only” needs to be right after “not.” In addition, you need to add a comma after “eat.”

2. According to legend, Schopenhauer believed women were not only weak in body but their minds don't have much strength compared to men.
You need the “… not only … but also … “ phrasing here, too, and each part of the comparison needs to be parallel to the other. There’s the first phrase “not only weak in body” that gives you the pattern. Now you need to make the second phrase fit the same pattern: “but also in their minds.” In addition, you need to add a comma after “body.”

3. The student was encouraged to read Nietzsche from the standpoint as a moralist and as a student of sociology.
The original is better – just remove the word “as” from the original.

4. still don't know how to fix.
Again, it’s a matter of parallel construction in the two sets of phrasing. Just remove “we” and “them” from the sentence, and the two clauses (before and after the semicolon) will be parallel.

5. I must ask you to banish your notions if you have any about Socrates from your mind before we continue.
Your revision is awkward unless you add commas after “notions” and “any.” In addition, “As we continue” is better at the beginning of the sentence.

6. They read for pleasure during their spare time.
Good

7. Marx asserted that the future lay with the masses; Nietzsche said we must depend on great men for our survival.
Reads fine to me, but I don’t see the original in the sentences above.

8. My grandmother gave me several old books in beautiful condition in my library.
Good

9. I was told by a priest that billions of sins live in my soul and that I should pray often.
Good

10. still don't get.
"The sun on the water was dark and mysterious; the willows lining the shore dripped gracefully in the cattails; the scene was okay, dude." <~~That last clause is totally out of place. The first two clauses are nicely descriptive, but the third one is very flat and full of slang. You need to think of a nicely descriptive way to describe the whole scene. Start out with this: “overall, the whole scene was _______________” <~~What adjectives or participial phrases can you put in that blank that describes the entire scene without using any blah words or slang?

=)


Correction:

1. We are not what we only eat but also the thoughts we think.
The original is correct (… not only … but also … ). The word “only” needs to be right after “not.” In addition, you need to add a comma after “eat.”

It should be this:
We are not only what we eat, but also what we think.
To make the second phrase parallel to the first.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm

=)

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