English

Could you help me reword this please.

Furthermore his exaggerated stories may be true for him but their illegitimacy to how a man in a suit can do such an uncivil thing such as ramming a car into a bus that may contain children or anyone in that case without being held up for is just another way of presenting us with a false emotional appeal

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  1. First of all, divide this into at least 3 sentences. Then re-post.

  2. Furthermore his exaggerated stories about “vehicles ramming into each other” only depict emotional appeal making the stories sound more illegitimate since we all know the consequences of accidents.

    better?

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  3. Better. Put a comma after "appeal" though.

  4. Thank you, I posted the whole essay up could you please read and rate it.

    No need of proofreading or any sort of spellcheck unless necessary.

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