Can you check these other sentences, too.
Thank you.
1) Michael Brown believes that shows such as the “Funniest Home Videos” have a negative effect on the children. 2) They show children making fun of their parents while the TV hosts, along with the audience have a nice long laugh. He cannot believe how such shows can entertain people. He doesn’t like watching these shows because he knows they are fake, like in movies.
3) Paul Green believes that television shouldn’t be blamed for inciting children to violence. In his opinion, parents need to take (shoulder) responsibility for the education (rearing) of their children.
4) When he was a child, his parents taught him to distinguish right from wrong. He believes that if parents took time to teach their children moral values, these would be able to separate television from reality.
5)We should worry about problems such as corruption among politicians or the glorification of warfare instead.
1. Titles of TV shows (and movies and books and artwork ... ) need to be in italics, not quotation marks.
Delete "the" in front of "children" at the end.
2. Change "fake" to "faked" and change the last three words to "just as movies are."
3. ... take responsibility for raising their children well.
4. Add the word "fiction" right after "television"
5. OK