adverbs and adjectives

check my paper for adverbs and adjectives?

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asked by ashlet
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  2. We'll be glad to check your paper. Please be sure to include your instructions.

  3. STUDENT PAPER: SILHOUETTES IN THE FOG
    By Bethany Waugh
    Moment Narrative Example
    My hand pressed against rough, cold rubber as I gently lowered myself into a sitting position. My sister sat beside me in the circle of a tractor tire, which was still moist with early dew. Long blades of grass curled up the sides of the old tire, which had long since been retired to the field. The dew soaked my clothes while I settled into a comfortable position. A slight breeze brushed my skin, and I could feel my arm hair stand on end as goose bumps began to appear. I pressed up against my sister, and we huddled together for warmth. I could feel her shivering along with me. We were on the island of Papua New Guinea.
    Although it was early in the morning, many people were stirring about. They talked in hushed voices as they gathered in groups to discuss recent news. Two tribes of the area were at war: the Tindoms and the Kars. The Tindoms had slowly advanced and had just arrived a day earlier at the border of our station. We were not worried, for they had sent word that they would not cross it. Those gathered had come for safety.
    The fog was dense that morning, which added to the thrill of the day. I gazed out onto our airstrip through a wire fence. I was sure that I had found the most incredible view of all, for this was the place where the warriors stood. Most had scattered into small groups, but a few stood alone. Some held bows and arrows, while others held hand-made guns. One who was the closest to me casually leaned an arm on the tip of the barrel as it set on the ground. Their faces were tense and drawn, and the dark circles under their eyes revealed they had not slept all night. Their deep voices drifted toward me, but I could only hear snatches of what they said. Most wore old and worn shirts and ragged pants. These were likely purchased at the market place from bundles of second-hand clothes. The elderly men still wore the traditional clothes: a simple string around the waist with cloth in the front and grass in the back. Some wore a wild hog tusk through their noses, and their ears stretched down to their jawbones from the constant weight of tribal adornments.
    My sister shifted beside me, and I felt a cool ripple of air where her arm had been. By now, my hands were turning blotchy from the cold. Rubbing my hands up and down my arm, I turned to gaze once more at the dark silhouettes in the fog. Like a scene from a movie, this spectacle had a dreamlike quality. It was like a frame frozen in time and forever imprinted on the mind of a ten-year-old girl. Pressing my hands against the cool wet surface of the tractor tire once again, I pushed myself up and turned to leave.

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    posted by Bobby

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