Is this a decent thesis statement or is it too long?
The imbalance in racial diversity in the field of pharmacy brings a need for more in-depth cultural competency training programs in colleges of pharmacy so they can better understand, relate, and provide appropriate health care service to their patients.
One thing you need to do is to define "imbalance in racial diversity."
What does this term/phrase mean?
What would it mean to have balance in racial diversity?
What would you suggest as to how to achieve that? And why would it be important?
There is no "YOU" in your statement so far. There is nothing there to indicate what YOU believe.
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