English 9

Write a character description. Choose a person you know well, and identify one of his/ her character traits. Then, chose two or three incidents in which that person revealed that trait.
- The first sentence nees to be your topic sentence and use a specific noun, verb or adverb. You need to define this word and then use examples.
(I was writing about my sister who is an artistic person, you can make things up)

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asked by Sydney
  1. Be sure you post what you have written. No one here will do your work for you, but we can help you with what you have done so far.

    posted by Writeacher
  2. [this is what i have done so far, and i have the situations, i just need help with explaining what i have said already]
    An artistic beauty.
    Shannon Smiley. An acute, humourous, admirable, contrasting individual. Her delicate blonde hair flows perfectly down the sides of her duey, pale face that compliments her bold grey eyes. Shannon is an artistic character; she prefers flawed perfection and beauty. "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" Our family went to Paris once for a holiday and seeing the She doesn't strive to be like everyone else, she is who she is.A sister, a friend, an inspiration.

    posted by Sydney
  3. I see fragments and run-ons. I also see the word "character" to refer to a real-live person, not a character in a story.

    Please fix the fragments and run-ons. Find a different word for "character." Then repost.

    http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/fragments.html

    posted by Writeacher
  4. Shannon Smiley. An acute, humourous, admirable, contrasting individual. Her delicate blonde hair flows perfectly down the sides of her duey, pale face that compliments her bold grey eyes. Shannon is an artistic person; she prefers flawed perfection and beauty. "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" Our family went to Paris once for a holiday and seeing the amazment in her eyes when walking down the streets of Paris was priceless. She doesn't strive to be like everyone else, she is who she is.A sister, a friend, an inspiration.

    posted by Sydney
  5. Shannon Smiley. (fragment)

    An acute, humourous, admirable, contrasting individual. (fragment)

    Her delicate blonde hair flows perfectly down the sides of her duey,<~~do you mean "dewey"? pale face that compliments her bold grey eyes.

    Shannon is an artistic person; she prefers flawed perfection and beauty.

    "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" <~~punctuation?

    Our family went to Paris once for a holiday and seeing the amazment in her eyes when walking down the streets of Paris was priceless. (commas needed for compound sentence and introductory phrase)

    She doesn't strive to be like everyone else, she is who she is. (run-on)

    A sister, a friend, an inspiration. (fragment)

    posted by Writeacher

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