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Can you please proofread this for me.. I'm really bad with grammar.

Something that I take a lot of pride in is my passion of giving back to the community. My senior year of high school I was in Leadership, and with the help of my council members we devoted a lot of time taking part in many community service events. Some of my favorites includes Adopt a Family, Relay for Life, Toys 4 Tots, Working with handicapped children, and raising money for underprivileged children, March of Dimes, and Breast Cancer Awareness. The list of my community service involvement goes on forever, but to this day I still devote time to giving back. Each event that I have participated in has opened my eyes about appreciating everything that I have been blessed with because so many people are less fortunate.

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Melonie

  1. "my passion of giving back to the community"
    You need "for" instead of "of" -- and do you know how trite and hackneyed the expression "giving back to the community" is? Everyone and his uncle uses that phrase. Think of another way to phrase this idea.

    During my senior year of high school<~~add comma I was in Leadership, and with the help of my council members<~~add comma we devoted a lot of time taking part in many community service events. Some of my favorites includes<~~delete the -s on this words; the subject is "favorites" (plural) so the verb needs to be plural, too Adopt a Family, Relay for Life, Toys 4 Tots, Working<~~small "w" on "working" since it's not the specific name of an organization with handicapped children, and raising money for underprivileged children, March of Dimes, and Breast Cancer Awareness. The list of my community service involvement goes on forever, but to this day I still devote time to giving back.<~~rephrase the trite wording Each event that I have participated in has opened my eyes about appreciating everything that I have been blessed with because so many people are less fortunate than I am.

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    Writeacher

  2. Can you proofread this last part for me. I appreciate your help. Thank You!!

    Ever since I was a little girl, I knew in my heart that I wanted to become an elementary school teacher when I grew up. That passion still holds true today. I'm working towards English as my major and history as my minor. My main goal is to pursue a bachelor's degree, but I would love to get my masters. This award would mean the world to me and my family. My family has been affected by the current economic climate and is struggling to make ends meet. With unemployment being the only income coming in, my parents are unable to continue to send me to school. It breaks my parents hearts because they know how passionate I am about making my dreams come true. I'm devastated by the situation that we are in and just pray for some help, so I can continue to go to school.

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    Melonie

  4. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew in my heart that I wanted to become an elementary school teacher when I grew up. That passion still holds true today. I'm working toward earning a bachelor's degree with English as my major and history as my minor. I also plan to get a master's degree. This award would mean the world to me and my family. My family has been affected more than most by the current economic climate because my parents' unemployment checks are the family's only income at present. My parents are unable to afford to send me to college, and this breaks their hearts because they know how passionate I am about making my dreams come true. I, too, am devastated by the situation that we are in, and I am working hard to find the financial assistance I need so I can continue my education.

    Read and compare carefully so you find all the changes.

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    Writeacher

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