Read this paragraph that a student wrote as part of a paper for history class.
1Both the Day of the Dead, or Día de los Muertos, and Hanal Pixán are centered around the celebration and remembrance of family members and friends who have died. 2In Mayan version of Day of the Dead or Hanal Pixán (ha-nawl peesh-awn), which means “food for the souls,” they create mind-blowing and intense altars in honor of dead loved ones. 3The altars are adorned with marigolds, candles, and offering of fresh fruit to nourish the departed soul. 4Hanal Pixán takes place throughout Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula while Día de los Muertos is celebrated in the Central and South regions of the country on October 31-November 2.
Which sentence should the student revise to make it more appropriate for the audience and purpose?
Responses
A sentence 1sentence 1
B sentence 2sentence 2
C sentence 3sentence 3
D sentence 4
B sentence 2
The student should revise sentence 2 to make it more appropriate for the audience and purpose. The sentence is too informal and uses slang terms like "mind-blowing." The student should reword the sentence to make it more academic and appropriate for a history class paper.