Lesson B: Revise an Unelaborated Paragraph Using Specific Instructions for Each Sentence Content Covered: Fahrenheit 451: Pages 19–45 Directions: Revise the paragraph below using the directions provided for each sentence. Type the revised paragraph in the box. The first sentence has been completed for you. (1) Montag thinks Mildred is “empty” (page 41). (2) She spends all of her time watching TV. (3) She watches TV at full volume. (4) The text says that “Mildred couldn’t say” and “Mildred didn’t quite know” what the TV shows were actually about (page 42). (5) She wants to add a fourth TV wall to their living room. (6) She has no memories of important moments from her past. (7) She distracts herself with entertainment so that she never has to have bad thoughts. Sentence 1: ❏ Use an appositive ❏ Expand by answering “Why?” Sentences 2–4: ❏ Combine sentences ❏ Integrate quotations (note: you may choose to include only part of the quotation) Sentence 5: ❏ Expand by answering “Why?” Sentence 6: ❏ Use textual evidence Sentence 7: ❏ Vary vocabulary write these like a 8th grader
(1) Montag, the main character in Fahrenheit 451, thinks Mildred is “empty” because she lacks depth and meaningful thoughts (page 41). (2) Instead of engaging in meaningful activities, she spends all of her time watching TV, becoming consumed by the mindless entertainment it offers. (3) Not only does she watch TV constantly, but she also blasts it at full volume, further numbing her mind and preventing deep thinking. (4) According to the text, Mildred couldn't say and didn't quite know what the TV shows were actually about, showing her detachment from reality and her inability to comprehend the content she consumes (page 42). (5) Despite already having multiple TVs in their living room, Mildred desires to add a fourth TV wall, emphasizing her obsession with superficial distractions and her avoidance of facing her own thoughts. (6) Her lack of memories of important moments from her past highlights her disconnection from her own life and her failure to cherish meaningful experiences. (7) By constantly distracting herself with mindless entertainment, Mildred shields herself from having any negative thoughts or confronting any unpleasant emotions.
