what is the meaning of my poem?
Im sorry
I'm sorry that i only ever mess up
I'm sorry about my behavior
Im sorry im a waste of space
Im sorry im a burden
I'm sorry that i'm such a mistake
I'm sorry i can't change me
Im sorry
Im sorry im not perfect
I'm sorry i cut
I'm sorry i can't keep promises
I'm sorry i want to give up
I'm sorry i want to die
I'm sorry i turn off my emotions
I'm sorry i lie that i'm fine
I'm sorry that i push you away
I’ll just pretend im okay
Pretend you never met me
Pretend i never existed
Pretend you didn’t hurt me
Pretend that it's not your fault i'm like this
Pretend everything is fine
But it's not.
You want to know what's funny about all this?
Its funny that you don't even care
Its funny you would not care if i were to die
Its funny that you don't feel guilty
Even after all you did to me
You abused me until i felt like dying
You tried to actually kill me
you made me lose hope
You made me lose everything
And the best part is
I don't even hate you
Even after everything you did
I can’t bring myself to hate you
Why?
And here i am
Again
Feeling like i'm not wanted
Feeling like i'm nothing
And even though i'm alive
I feel dead.
Sorry
But i have no need for fake people in my life
You are either with me
Or without me
You can’t just come and go as you please
It's not how it works
I wish you actually cared
Because if you did
We would still be friends.
I don't care
If you are going to tell everyone
What I did to you
But please don't forget to tell them
About what you did to me
You need to leave me alone
You have done enough
You scream at me
And tell me how horrible i am
You make me repay
Every mistake i have ever made
You humiliate me
On a daily basis
You have made it impossible for me to feel happy
Or have any contact with my family and friends
I am so sick of you being in control
Of all my decisions and behaviors
The sooner you leave
The better
I Never wanted you
To be apart of my life
And i never will
Until the day i die
I hate you
And i hate myself
For ever letting you in my head
Dear old friends
I hope you read this
Because im over it
The meaning of this poem appears to be a reflection on feelings of guilt, self-blame, and the impact of toxic relationships. The speaker expresses apologies for their perceived flaws and mistakes, feeling like a burden and a waste of space. They speak of wanting to give up, feeling dead inside, and turning off their emotions.
The poem also highlights the disconnection between the speaker and someone who has hurt them. Despite the abuse and mistreatment, the speaker cannot bring themselves to hate this person, which adds to their feelings of confusion and self-blame.
Towards the end, the speaker asserts their need for genuine and supportive relationships, expressing a desire for the toxic person to leave their life. They also mention the importance of others knowing the truth about the situation.
Overall, the poem captures themes of self-doubt, emotional pain, the longing for genuine connections, and a rejection of toxic influences. It reflects the speaker's struggles with their own self-worth and the impact of hurtful relationships.