The following article is a mock press release from The Onion, a publication devoted to humor and satire. Read the
article carefully. Then write an essay in which you analyze the strategies used in the article to satirize how products
are marketed to consumers.
MASSILLON, OH-Stressed and sore-footed
Americans everywhere are clamoring for the exciting
new MagnaSoles shoe inserts, which stimulate and
soothe the wearer's feet using no fewer than five
forms of pseudoscience.
"What makes MagnaSoles different from other
insoles is the way it harnesses the power of
magnetism to properly align the biomagnetic field
around your foot," said Dr. Arthur Bluni, the
pseudoscientist who developed the product for
Massillon-based Integrated Products. "Its patented
Magna- Grid design, which features more than 200
isometrically aligned Contour PointsTM, actually
soothes while it heals, restoring the foot's natural bio-
flow."
"MagnaSoles is not just a shoe insert," Bluni
continued, "it's a total foot-rejuvenation system."
According to scientific-sounding literature
trumpeting the new insoles, the Contour Points™ also
take advantage of the semi-plausible medical
technique known as reflexology. Practiced in the
Occident for over eleven years, reflexology, the
literature explains, establishes a correspondence
between every point on the human foot and another
part of the body, enabling your soles to heal your
entire body as you walk.
But while other insoles have used magnets and
reflexology as keys to their appearance of usefulness,
MagnaSoles go several steps further. According to the
product's Web site, "Only MagnaSoles utilize the
healing power of crystals to restimulate dead foot
cells with vibrational biofeedback. . . a process
similar to that by which medicine makes people
better."
In addition, MagnaSoles employ a brand-new,
cutting-edge form of pseudoscience known as
Terranometry, developed specially for Integrated
Products by some of the nation's top pseudoscientists.
"The principles of Terranometry state that the
Earth resonates on a very precise frequency, which it
imparts to the surfaces it touches," said Dr. Wayne
Frankel, the California State University biotrician
who discovered Terranometry. "If the frequency of
one's foot is out of alignment with the Earth, the
entire body will suffer. Special resonator nodules
implanted at key spots in MagnaSoles convert the
wearer's own energy to match the Earth's natural
vibrational rate of 32.805 kilofrankels. The resultant
harmonic energy field rearranges the foot's naturally occurring atoms, converting the pain-nuclei into
pleasing comfortrons."
Released less than a week ago, the $19.95 insoles
are already proving popular among consumers, who
are hailing them as a welcome alternative to
expensive, effective forms of traditional medicine.
"I twisted my ankle something awful a few months
ago, and the pain was so bad, I could barely walk a
single step," said Helene Kuhn of Edison, NJ. "But
after wearing MagnaSoles for seven weeks, I've
noticed a significant decrease in pain and can now
walk comfortably. Just try to prove that MagnaSoles
didn't heal me!" Equally impressed was chronic back-pain sufferer
Geoff De Angelis of Tacoma, WA.
"Why should I pay thousands of dollars to have my
spine realigned with physical therapy when I can pay
$20 for insoles clearly endorsed by an intelligent-
looking man in a white lab coat?" DeAngelis asked.
"MagnaSoles really seem like they're working."
In this satirical article from The Onion, the writer uses various strategies to mock the way products are marketed to consumers. Through exaggeration, pseudoscience, and testimonials, the article highlights the absurdity and gullibility of consumers when it comes to purchasing products that promise to solve their problems.
One of the main strategies used in the article is the exaggeration of the features and benefits of the MagnaSoles shoe inserts. The writer describes the product as having "no fewer than five forms of pseudoscience" and claims that it stimulates and soothes the wearer's feet using magnetism, reflexology, crystals, and Terranometry. By listing these pseudoscientific concepts, the article satirizes the tendency of marketers to use scientific-sounding language to make their products appear effective and legitimate. The writer takes these exaggerations to the extreme by describing the MagnaSoles as a "total foot-rejuvenation system," highlighting the ridiculousness of such claims.
The article also mocks the use of testimonials in marketing. The writer includes quotes from supposed consumers who praise the MagnaSoles for their healing abilities. One consumer claims that the MagnaSoles healed her twisted ankle, while another suggests that they can replace expensive forms of traditional medicine. These testimonials serve to satirize the reliance of consumers on personal anecdotes and the power of suggestion. By including these exaggerated testimonials, the article highlights the irrationality of consumers who believe in the miraculous claims made by marketers without any scientific evidence.
Furthermore, the language used in the article contributes to its satirical tone. The writer uses phrases such as "scientific-sounding literature," "semi-plausible medical technique," and "cutting-edge form of pseudoscience" to emphasize the absurdity of the claims made by the marketers of the MagnaSoles. These phrases suggest that the marketers are intentionally using language to deceive and manipulate consumers.
Overall, this article from The Onion uses strategies such as exaggeration, pseudoscience, and testimonials to satirize the way products are marketed to consumers. By exposing the ridiculousness of the claims made by marketers and the gullibility of consumers, the article serves as a critique of the marketing industry and encourages readers to approach product claims with skepticism and critical thinking.