english(business writing)

Hi.
I have to write request letter for guest speaker to come our organization and give effective speech. I am pasting it here. Help me if I need improvement thanks :)

World Fund Raiser
1892 West Fall Rd
Richmond, VA 29088
June 18, 2007

Mr. Alex Blair
7388 Columbia St
Phoenix, AZ 48767

Dear Mr. Alex

Our Organization is raise supplies and funds for the other countries that need our support. We are non-profit company located in Virginia. We collect clothes and send to other parts of the world where needed. We also provide financial support for those countries but it is limited. Our organization World Fund Raiser(WFR) would like to invite you to come to our audiorioum and give a speech regarding supporting those countries that need help to fulfull their mission.

I saw an article in Washington Post, which had your speech about supporting other countries and if needed, they will return the support, and I was very impressed with it. It is our organizations policy, we don’t cover the transportation and meals for our guest speakers, but our organization will give you honor that you deserve and award for joining us and giving speech for us.

You can contact me on my email address or phone. They both are listed in the bottom. Again, I would like to thank you and hope you come visit us and give good speech to our previous & new members in the organization.


Your letter is good. :-) But I've offered some improvements below.

Dear Mr. Blair ( Alex is his first name. You need to use his surname with "Mr."

Our Organization is raising supplies and funds for other countries that need our support. We are a non-profit company located in Virginia. We collect clothes to send to other parts of the world where needed. We also provide financial support for those countries but it is limited. Our organization World Fund Raiser(WFR) would like to invite you to come to our audiorioum and give a speech regarding supporting those countries that need help to fulfull their mission.

I saw an article in the Washington Post, which had your speech about supporting other countries and if needed, they will return the support, and I was very impressed with it. It is our organization's policy that we don’t cover the transportation and meals for our guest speakers, but our organization will give you the honor that you deserve and reward you for joining us and giving a speech for us.

You can contact me at my email address or by phone. They both are listed at the bottom. Again, I would like to thank you and hope you come visit us and give a good speech to the members in our organization.


thanks Ms Sue. I appreciate your help. I will fix all my mistakes.

If this is not too late ...

There needs to be a colon (:) after the salutation --

Dear Mr. Blair:



thanks writeacher its not late :)

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