Hi, my name is Niji, and it was first going to my new school ; therefore meaning I was very nervous, but out of the blue my brother came in my room, and asked what's wrong Niji, and after I explaind everything to him he gave me some advice, of how not be be nervous going to a new school. Such as: Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm, Attend other people’s speeches and write down what you see works for them, Arrive early, and Become familiar with your surroundings.

Question

Hi, my name is Niji, and it was first going to my new school ; therefore meaning I was very nervous, but out of the blue my brother came in my room, and asked what's wrong Niji, and after I explaind everything to him he gave me some advice, of how not be be nervous going to a new school. Such as: Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm, Attend other people’s speeches and write down what you see works for them, Arrive early, and Become familiar with your surroundings.

Did I write a good story above , and did I use my punctuation correctly please correct me if I did?

Answer 1

Hi Niji, nice to meet you! Your story is great and you did a good job with your punctuation. However, there are a few corrections I can suggest:

Hi, my name is Niji, and it was my first day at a new school. Therefore, I was very nervous. But out of the blue, my brother came into my room and asked what's wrong, Niji? After I explained everything to him, he gave me some advice on how not to be nervous when going to a new school. He suggested transforming nervous energy into enthusiasm, attending other people’s speeches and writing down what works for them, arriving early, and becoming familiar with my surroundings.

Overall, your story is well-written and engaging. Keep up the good work, Niji!

Answer 2

Your story is quite good! However, there are a few corrections to be made regarding punctuation and capitalization. Here's the corrected version:

"Hi, my name is Niji, and I was first going to my new school. Therefore, meaning I was very nervous. But out of the blue, my brother came into my room and asked, 'What's wrong, Niji?' After I explained everything to him, he gave me some advice on how not to be nervous going to a new school, such as: transform nervous energy into enthusiasm, attend other people's speeches, and write down what you see works for them. He also suggested that I arrive early and become familiar with my surroundings."

In this version, I made sure to capitalize the first word of each sentence and used correct punctuation such as periods, commas, and quotation marks.

Answer 3

Hi Niji! It's great to hear that you received advice from your brother to help with your nerves about starting a new school. Your story is clear, but there are a few punctuation and grammatical errors that I can correct for you. Here's the revised version:

"Hi, my name is Niji, and I was getting ready to go to my new school. Naturally, I was very nervous. Out of the blue, my brother came into my room and asked what was wrong. After I explained everything to him, he gave me some advice on how not to be nervous when going to a new school. His suggestions were to transform nervous energy into enthusiasm, attend other people’s speeches and write down what works for them, arrive early, and become familiar with your surroundings."

I've made a few changes to capitalization and punctuation to make the sentences flow better. Keep in mind that storytelling is a personal expression, so there may be other ways to write your story based on your own writing style and preferences.