Sorry, I know this is a bit long but i just need a second pair (or more) of eyes to help with catching any errors or telling me if it is okay.....
Cancer: Where does it come from?
Cancer is something that a lot of people in America deal with. There is disagreement on if cancers are caused by environmental factors. The article "Environmental Cancer Risks" on Gale in Context listed some known environmental hazards that contribute to increased cancer risks. In his article, "Go ahead, soak up some sun - it's good for you," Michael Holick, a doctor and researcher at Boston University Medical Center, argued that ultra-violet (UV) radiation is overstated as a risk of skin cancer. One side argues that environmental risks should be avoided. The other side feels that some environmental risks might be overstated. While they are not the only factors in developing cancer, there is evidence that shows there are some environmental factors such as ionizing radiation, UV radiation, and chemical contaminants that increase a person’s risk of developing cancer.
Generally, reducing environmental exposure to carcinogens like the ionizing radiation from radon could reduce cancer rates and save lives. “When ionizing radiation comes into contact with atoms in living cells, it can kill the cells or introduce mutations that become cancerous.” (gale environmental risks). While a little bit of this is normal, high doses or frequent exposure is linked to higher cancer rates. In fact, research at Johns Hopkins showed that “In people who have never smoked, about 30 percent of deaths caused by lung cancer have been linked to being exposed to radon. (Hopkins medicine). Since radon is odorless and colorless, this means that many people were unknowingly exposed to dangerous radiation. Testing for radon so that people can avoid it could prevent many lung cancer deaths.
Additionally, according to cancer.gov, non-Hodgkin lymphomas are in the top ten types of cancer in America and leukemia, which is number 11, have both been linked to the chemical glyphosate. “The panel of seventeen scientists from around the world concluded that glyphosate could be dangerous. (Specter). This means it is a probable carcinogen, but they can’t prove it causes cancers. According to MedicalNewsToday, a 2019 metaanalysis with 65,000 participants “concluded that the overall evidence from human, animal, and test tube studies shows a compelling link between glyphosate-based herbicides and increased risk of NHL. The researchers found a 41% increase in NHL among individuals with high doses of glyphosate-based herbicides.” (Thomas). While occasional use with protection is probably safe, the more often someone is exposed, the more dangerous it is. What should be done? Should it be banned, should people be informed?
Lastly, according to cancer.gov, skin cancers are in the top ten types of cancer in America. “Most cases of melanoma, the deadliest kind of skin cancer, are caused by exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light from the sun or tanning beds.” (cdc.gov). If this is true, then it would be easy to prevent it by simply wearing a strong(er) sunscreen or avoiding tanning beds. “Although use of sun protection has increased slightly in recent years, sunburn is common in the United States, with about one-third of adults and over half of high school students getting sunburned each year.” (cdc.gov). This is most likely caused by a change in the environment that has allowed UV rays to leak in through the ozone layer, thus causing more cases of sunburn.
Some people are less worried about environmental factors because “[…] Of the estimated 13,000 deaths associated with skin cancer each year, more than 70 percent are due to melanoma, which accounts for less than 5 percent of all skin cancers. […] Most melanomas occur on the least sun-exposed parts of the body, such as the buttock, the upper arms and the back of the legs.” (Holick) He is saying that some sun exposure is helpful to our bodies. While radiation from an occasional x-ray isn’t deadly, many environmental factors can build up over time, and are only noticed when it’s too late.
There is disagreement on whether cancer is caused by environmental factors, and there is evidence to support both sides. There are many things we could do to prevent cancer if it is in fact, caused by environmental factors. Ongoing research and studies are being conducted to confirm what the cause of cancer is, and there is hope of a definite cause being discovered in the hopes of perhaps finding a way to counteract the source and prevent it from ever coming back. If we can find the cause or source of what is causing cancer, it could change the world, allowing people to live more care-free lives without worry of whether they have a deadly disease. Perhaps if we find the cause, we can also find a cure.
Overall, the paragraph seems well-written and coherent. However, here are a few suggestions to improve clarity and readability:
1. Consider rephrasing the first sentence to make it more concise. For example, you could say, "Could someone please review this paragraph and check for errors or provide feedback?"
2. Use proper capitalization and formatting. For example, capitalize the first letter of each sentence and ensure consistent spacing between paragraphs.
3. In the first sentence of the second paragraph, replace "in his article" with "In an article."
4. Consider restructuring the sentence that starts with "While they are not the only factors..." to make it clearer. For example, you could say, "While there are many factors that contribute to cancer development, evidence suggests that certain environmental factors such as ionizing radiation, UV radiation, and chemical contaminants can increase the risk."
5. In the third paragraph, consider rephrasing the opening sentence for clarity. For example, you could say, "Reducing exposure to environmental carcinogens, such as radon, could potentially lower cancer rates and save lives."
6. Ensure consistency in citing sources. For example, use consistent formats for in-text citations (e.g., "According to cancer.gov") and ensure that all sources are properly referenced at the end of the document.
7. In the last paragraph, consider rephrasing the sentence that starts with "Some people are less worried about environmental factors" to avoid ambiguity. For example, you could say, "Despite concerns about environmental factors, evidence suggests that some sun exposure can be beneficial for the body. However, long-term exposure to various environmental factors can accumulate and have detrimental effects."
8. Consider expanding the concluding paragraph to provide a more comprehensive summary of the main points discussed throughout the text. Additionally, consider revising the second-to-last sentence to make it more concise and impactful.
Remember to proofread your work and make any necessary revisions before finalizing it.