I would just like some feedback on my work please :)
Assume that you’ve worked for the last five years as an administrative
assistant for the Human Resources Department of Broadworth General
Hospital. The Director of Human Resources, Miriam Hopkins, has charged
you with organizing a two-hour training seminar to be attended by the
hospital’s 20 office supervisors. The seminar should cover sexual harassment
and unlawful discrimination in the workplace.
For the last 20 years, the hospital has contracted all training through the
nationally acclaimed Wydade Consulting Services. Jeremy Dittmer,
employee relations specialist, is manager of the local branch of Wydade.
He requires a three-month advance notice regarding any training
Broadworth needs so he can supply an appropriate trainer and any
materials that may be required. This is the first time you’ve dealt
directly with Mr. Dittmer.
You must also make all necessary arrangements for the seminar, including
time, date, a room at the hospital for training, any resources the
trainer needs, any materials those who attend might need, and light
refreshments for a 15-minute break.
Drafting
2. Using either full block or modified block, draft a letter to Mr. Dittmer to
set up the seminar. Your letter must have at least two paragraphs and at
least eight complete sentences. Include the following items in your letter:
a. Thanks for the company’s reliable support
b. An explanation of the training need and any special topics to cover
c. A request for a trainer to teach the seminar
d. A request for a list of resources the trainer will need
3. Draft an interoffice memorandum to Miriam Hopkins, the Director of
Human Resources:
a. Assume that you’ve received confirmation from Jeremy Dittmer for the
date, time, and materials needed. The trainer he has assigned is Deb
Walker (email: Deb.Walker...).
b. Outline the arrangements you’ve made, providing explanations as
needed. Your goal is to assure her that you’ve covered all of the
details.
c. Invent any additional details as needed.
4. Using your word processing program, draft an email of at least four complete
sentences to Deb Walker, the designated trainer:
a. Confirm the arrangements for the seminar, providing only the information
she needs to arrive at the right place at the right time.
b. Copy both Mr. Dittmer (Jeremy.Dittmer..) and Ms.
Hopkins (m_hopkins..)
c. Create an appropriate email business address for yourself and include
it after the signature block.
5. Set all three items aside for at least
---------------------------
Business Letter
I am writing to you regarding our annual Sexual Harassment and Unlawful Discrimination Seminar. We are requesting a trainer that can teach twenty office supervisors on ways to prevent, cope and report acts of sexual harassment and discrimination. In addition, we prefer if the trainer provides help-line numbers to distribute at the seminar. At your convenience, please send a list of materials and resources the trainer will need as well as anything that is required for the supervisors to bring.
The event will be held on March 5, 2021 at 1:00 P.M., in conference room 443 located on the third floor in the hospital. It will be a two hour event, with one fifteen minute break where light refreshments will be served. Broadworth General Hospital would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the reliable support Wydadec has been providing in our training needs for the last twenty year. We deeply appreciate it.
Memorandum
BROADWORTH GENERAL HOSPITAL
Interoffice Memo
TO: Miriam Hopkins
FROM: Rose Black, Administrative Assistant
DATE: November 16, 2020
SUBJECT: Seminar Confirmation
We have received confirmation from Mr. Jeremy Dittmer for our March 5, 2021 Sexual Harassment and Unlawful Discrimination Seminar at 1:00 P.M. Conference room 443 will be reserved for twenty supervisors; we will provide paper and pens. Deb Walker will has been the assigned trainer and has requested chairs, tables and a docking station. Our IT team has asked for a 45 minute set up prior to the seminar to ensure everything is set up and working properly. The seminar will be 2 hours long with a 15 minute break that will include light refreshments, such as coffee, tea, muffins, fruit, granola bars and water which will be delivered by the hospital staff to the conference room.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. You can also reach out to Deb Walker directly at her email (Deb.Walker) or by phone at 510-456-7890, ext: 0190.
Email
To: Deb.Walker
CC: Jeremy.Dittmer; m_hopkins;
From: rose.black
Subject: Training Seminar Confirmation
Good evening Deb,
I am confirming the arrangements regarding the Sexual Harassment and Unlawful Discrimination Seminar that will be held on March 5, 2021. Per our phone conversation, the address is 123 Broadworth Blvd, Oakland, CA 94601. It is set to begin at 1:00 P.M. with a 45 minute set up for you and your team. The seminar will be held in conference room 443, located on the third floor. All materials (tables, chairs, docking station) will be set up and available as requested. I will create a PowerPoint presentation that will include different information to better understand what the seminar is about along with help-line numbers. The seminar is set for 2 hours long with a fifteen minute break that will have refreshments included by our hospital staff.
--
Best regards,
Rose Black
Administrative Assistant
Feedback on the Work:
1. Business Letter:
Your letter is clear and concise, providing all the necessary information. The introduction expresses gratitude for the support provided by Wydade Consulting Services, and the main body of the letter clearly outlines the training needs, including requesting a list of materials and resources required. The details of the event, such as the date, time, and location, are mentioned, along with the planned break for light refreshments. Overall, it is well-written and effectively conveys the necessary information.
2. Memorandum:
The memorandum to Miriam Hopkins is well-structured and provides a clear overview of the arrangements made for the seminar. You have outlined the confirmation details, including the date, time, and location, as well as the assigned trainer. Additionally, you have mentioned the specific requirements for the seminar, such as chairs, tables, and a docking station. The inclusion of additional details, such as the IT team's set up time and the refreshments for the break, adds to the thoroughness of the memo.
3. Email:
Your email to Deb Walker is concise and effectively confirms the arrangements for the seminar. You have provided all the necessary information, including the date, time, and location, and have also mentioned the set-up time required. The inclusion of the cc recipients, Jeremy Dittmer and Miriam Hopkins, ensures that all relevant parties are informed. The only suggestion would be to provide a more professional email address for yourself, as the current one seems personal rather than business-related.
Overall, your work demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and effectively conveys the necessary information. Your writing is clear, organized, and professional. Great job!
Feedback on your work:
Overall, you have done a great job in organizing and communicating the details for the training seminar. Your business letter is clear and concise, addressing all the necessary points and requests. The memorandum to Miriam Hopkins outlines the arrangements effectively, providing explanations where needed. The email to Deb Walker confirms the arrangements and includes all the required information.
Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
1. In the business letter, consider adding a subject line to make it more professional, such as "Request for Trainer for Sexual Harassment and Unlawful Discrimination Seminar."
2. It would be helpful to specify the duration of the seminar in the business letter. For example, you can mention that it will be a two-hour event with a 15-minute break.
3. In the memorandum, make sure to include a closing line to recap the arrangements and express your confidence in the success of the seminar.
4. In the email, you have mentioned a phone conversation without providing any details. It would be better to remove that reference or mention the key points discussed in the phone conversation for clarity.
Overall, your work showcases good organization and attention to detail. With these minor improvements, your communication will be even more effective. Keep up the good work!