Okay I went over and revised my writing again and had it read out loud to me. I change some sentences all together.
The question I answered was:
Batman. Spiderman. Superman. These characters often come to mind as heroes. But what about everyday people? What makes a hero? What does it mean to be brave?
My response:
Growing up we are given examples of heroes having superpowers and having secret identities such as Batman, Spiderman, and Superman. Truth is there are heroes everywhere within our community. Everyday people are heroes through their job choices or taking action to help others.
Men and women are heroes through their life-threatening jobs such as the military, being a firefighter, or being a police officer. Not only are they putting their own life at risk for others they are protecting everyone’s life around them, including yours and mine. Other everyday heroes are doctors, nurses and everyone that works in a hospital for it to function properly. They’re heroes that work endless hours to constantly save lives and with COVID-19 being as deadly as it is right now they still come to work to save thousands of lives risking their own. Heroes may also be as simple as volunteers at soup kitchens. To the less fortunate these are the people that change their lives and gives them hope of overcoming their misfortune.
Although there may be a lot of heroes in the world it is not simple to just become one. To be a hero you need to be extremely brave and devoted. Alongside that a hero needs dedication and selflessness. Being brave is one of the most important abilities needed to be a hero. To be brave means to push fear to the back of your head and take action, which is what exactly a hero does every time they are faced with conflict.
Growing up, we are given examples of heroes having superpowers and having secret identities such as Batman, Spiderman, and Superman. THE truth is there are heroes everywhere within our COMMUNITIES. Everyday people are heroes through their job choices or taking action to help others.
Men and women are heroes through their life-threatening jobs, such as SOLDIERS, FIREFIGHTERS, or POLICE OFFICERS. Not only are they putting their own LIVES at risk for others, BUT they are protecting everyone’s life around them, including yours and mine. Other everyday heroes are doctors, nurses, and everyone WHO works in a hospital for it to function properly. THERE ARE heroes WHO work endless hours to constantly save lives, and with COVID-19 being as deadly as it is right now, they still come to work to save thousands of lives WHILE risking their own. Heroes may also be as simple as volunteers at soup kitchens. To the less fortunate, these are the people WHO change their lives and GIVE them hope of overcoming their MISFORTUNES.
Although there may be a lot of heroes in the world, it is not simple to just become one. To be a hero, A PERSON NEEDS to be extremely brave and devoted. Alongside that, a hero needs dedication and selflessness. Being brave is one of the most important TRAITS needed to be a hero. To be brave means to push fear to the back of your head and take action, which is EXACTLY WHAT a hero does every time HE OR SHE IS faced with conflict.
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MUCH better!
I've made some corrections, including some punctuation marks. Be sure to compare yours and mine carefully.
Note: When you use "everyone" or any singular noun or pronoun, be sure all reference to that word are also singular. I made several such changes above.
NICE!!!
Once again thank you so much for your help and feed back i am extremely appreciative of you taking your time to correct me. Thank you for pointing out my actions that needed to be correct since I am using "everyone"
You're very welcome!
Your revised response looks great! You've provided a clear and thoughtful explanation of what it means to be a hero and the various ways everyday people can embody heroism. I can see that you've made some changes to your sentences and added additional examples, which helps strengthen your response.
To further enhance your writing, I suggest considering the following suggestions:
1. Adding specific examples: While you've mentioned some examples like military personnel, firefighters, police officers, doctors, nurses, and soup kitchen volunteers, you could further elaborate on their specific acts of heroism or share personal anecdotes or stories that showcase their bravery and selflessness.
2. Providing more context: Consider expanding on the importance of heroes in our society. For example, explain how heroes inspire others, how they instill a sense of hope, or how their acts of bravery ripple through communities, making the world a better place.
3. Exploring different facets of bravery: Discussing other aspects of bravery beyond simply pushing fear aside could add depth to your response. For example, you could mention the bravery required to stand up for what is right, to advocate for others, or to overcome personal challenges and adversity.
4. Proofreading for clarity and grammar: Lastly, make sure to proofread your response for any grammatical errors or areas of confusion. Reading your writing aloud or having it read back to you can be a great way to identify any awkward phrasing or unclear sentences.
By considering these suggestions, you can further enhance and refine your response to convey your points effectively. Keep up the great work!