French

Is this paragraph correct? Would someone mind editing it for me?

La derniere semaine, une partengue a piqué Steve Irwin quand il a nagé à la nord de l'Australie. Steve Irwin est mort de la poison. Il n'y a pas d'un accident. La partengue a été formé à piquer Steve Irwin. Il y a trois suspectes: le gouvernment d'Australia, la reine d'England, et Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Les motifs: Le gouvernment d'Australia a voulu meurtrer Steve Irwin parce-que il a été très populaire, et il a causé les Australiens de sembler folle. La reine de l'Angleterre a voulu meurtrer Steve Irwin parce-que l'Australie est plus populaire que l'Angleterre, et Steve Irwin est chargé. Si Steve Irwin mort, Australia va tombé dans l'obscurité, et England va être populaire. Ernst Stavro Blofeld a voulu meurtrer Steve Irwin parce-que si Steve Irwin mort, lAustralie Ernst va pouvoir dominer l'Australie, et la terre ne va pas observer.

Thank you for using the Jiskha Homework Help Forum. Because you will learnbest by first identifying the error and then correcting it yourself, please look below your paragraph for the Proofreading Symbols. Then, as you reread, look for (anything within parentheses immediately after an error.) After you have made all the corrections, feel free to repost, if you have time, for final proofreading.

La derniere semaine, (CP = this would depend upon whether you mean the very last week ever or simply "last week" = la semaine dernière. Also be sure you have included all the necessary accent marks.) une partengue (n/s or voc = sometimes without the English we aren't sure exactly what you need) a piqué Steve Irwin quand il a nagé à (n/s = he swam TO?) (actually l'imparfait seems better = he was swimming = il nageait) la nord de l'Australie. Steve Irwin est mort de la poison. (ort = that word is "poison;" did you mean fish?) Il n'y a pas d'un (There is no accident? Why did you switch from passé composé to present? "pas d'accident.") accident. La partengue (ort = now I see you want "stingray" = la pastenague) a été formé à piquer(*** = I'd delete the last 4 words and simply say "a piqué") Steve Irwin. Il y a trois suspectes: le gouvernment (ort) d'Australia,(ort = be sure you use the French word in every instance = l'Australie) la reine d'England, (voc = Angleterre) et Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Les motifs: Le gouvernment (ort = you omitted an "e") d'Australia (see above = ort) a voulu meurtrer (ort = but I doubt you mean "to bruise." If you are looking for "to murder" = assassiner) Steve Irwin parce-que il (ort = parce qu'il) a été très populaire, et il a causé les Australiens de sembler folle. (masculine plural if you refer to "Australiens") La reine de l'Angleterre a voulu meurtrer (see above and be sure she won't have a slander suit here!) Steve Irwin parce-que (ort) l'Australie est plus populaire que l'Angleterre, et Steve Irwin est chargé. (n/s or MD) Si Steve Irwin mort, (MD = is dead? or dies? = incomplete verb) Australia (ort = see above) va tombé (MD = not past participle but infinitive here after "va") dans l'obscurité, et England (voc = English not French) va être populaire. Ernst Stavro Blofeld a voulu meurtrer (see above) Steve Irwin parce-que (ort) si Steve Irwin mort,(see above; repetitive?) lAustralie (MD = Australian Ernest? = l'Australien Ernest...) Ernst va pouvoir dominer l'Australie, et la terre ne va pas observer. (n/s = and the earth isn't going to observe?)


Proofreading Symbols:
Barème de correction:

ort = orthographe (spelling)
gen = genre (gender)
con = concordance (agreement of subject/verb or subject/adjective or adj/noun)
inf = infinitif (infinitive required)
nom = nombre (singular/plural problem)
prép = préposition (preposition required = à, de, en, etc.)
t = temps de verbe (verb tense)
subj.=subjonctif (subjunctive needed)
v = mauvais verbe (wrong verb)
p = ponctuation (punctuation correction needed)
voc = vocabulaire (wrong vocabulary choice)
imp.= imparfait (imperfect needed)
p/c .= passé composé needed
n/s = aucun sens (not clear what you are trying to say)
/\ = il manque un mot (Missing a word)
/\ /\ /\ = il manque 3 mots (etc.) (Missing 3 words, etc.)
M/m = changer du haut de casse/bas (Change to upper or lower case)
INT = intervertir l'ordre des mots (Change word order)
Esp. = espace (Open a space)
Sesp. = sans espace (Close up the space)
SA = sans accent (Take off accent)
NP = nouveau paragraphe (New paragraph)
EM = enlever mot (Take out/omit word)
CP = changer la position (Change position)
AA = ajouter un accent (Add an accent)
GR = faute de grammaire (Grammatical error) (Specify)
** = effacer (delete) / retirer le mot précédent (Omit the preceding word)
MD = mal dit (not well said)

NOTE: It's interesting to note that shortly after this tragic accident, an older man was stabbed in the heart by a stringray. He, however, survived.

P.S. On rereading this, I would not use "causer" but perhaps "a fait les Australiens sembler fous..." That is idiomatic.

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asked by Chris

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