conclusion+ paragraph! + thanks in advance!

Right before World War One, Imperialistic, territorial, nationalist, and economic rivalries had been intensifying among Germany, France, Great Britain, Russia, and Austria-Hungary. Others argue sayings that if war was going to happen don’t you think it was given many chances to happen before the assassination?
If the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand was just a trigger why did everyone wait a whole year to do anything? The answer is quite simple because everyone wanted to avoid war at any cost and their always solutions to the problems. Take for example the Balkan wars the Treaty of Bucharest was passed so that they could prolong the war that was about to begin. War would have not been declared if Austria would have listened to Serbia. This is true but war would have happened sooner or later because of all the tension before World War One. Many people believe World War one was the initial cause of the war, but when you look at the facts you cannot deny it was just a trigger.


Right before World War One, Imperialistic, Why cap "Imperialistic"? territorial, nationalist, and economic rivalries had been intensifying among Germany, France, Great Britain, Russia, and Austria-Hungary. Others argue sayings Delete "sayings." thatComma if war was going to happenComma don't you think Delete "don't you think" for conciseness.it was given many chances to happen before the assassination?

If the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand was just a triggerComma why did everyone wait a whole year to do anything? The answer is quite simpleComma because everyone wanted to avoid war at any costComma and their "there are"? always solutions to the problems. TakeComma for exampleComma the Balkan warsStart new sentence. the Treaty of Bucharest was passedComma so that Delete "that." they could prolong the war that was about to begin. War would have not been declaredComma if Austria would have listened to Serbia. This is trueComma but war would have happened sooner or laterComma because of all the tension before World War One. Many people believe World War one was the initial cause of the war, but when you look at the facts you cannot deny it was just a trigger. This last sentence does not make sense. WWI was the in initial cause of the war?

Review comma rules.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/punct/comma.html

In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

I hope this helps. Thanbks for asking.



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