English (essay help)

I have to write a essay about the confederation of Canada in 1867 and why it was a good choice. I have all of my body paragraphs done but I'm having trouble thinking of a proper introduction.
My first sentence for my intro is: confederation was the best choice for the British colonies in 1867 for a number of reasons.
Now I need 2-3 sentences leading from general idea to specific which i need help on and I have a thesis statement but I'm not sure it's good enough so here is my thesis statement : Canada joined confederation because of better economy, better government and to defend against the USA.

So I need 2-3 sentences leading from the general idea to specific and is my opening sentence (intro) and my thesis statement good or should I change it. Please help this is due tomorow

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  1. You need to ditch that first sentence and revise the thesis.

    Read and study these webpages before you proceed:
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm
    and
    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html (from http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html#org )

    You can find further help here:
    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/

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    Writeacher
  2. I don't understand, my teacher said my intro sentence was good and my thesis was good, all I need is 2-3 sentences leading from general to specific

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  3. And that's y I posted the question because I don't get any help from websites, I need someone to show me

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  4. Like can you give me an example of an intro about confederation including my ideas and that will help me because I already have my body paragraphs done and all I need is the intro

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  5. No, I can't do that because that would be writing the paragraph for you.

    I'm suggesting you ditch your first sentence because it's simply a repetition of your thesis.

    If you cannot read and get information from websites that have helped countless other students, I really don't know what to say. But I won't write your sentences for you. Sorry.

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    Writeacher
  6. All I needed were 2-3 sentences that's all, I'm not asking you to write my paragraph, I've written the entire essay but if you can't help with 2 sentences then there was no point in posting my question cause it was a waste of my time and I didn't receive help

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