Literature Essay (Ms. Sue and/or Writeacher)

This is a edited version of my first body paragraph.

"I feel as though there is a far greater number of people today who are more fearful than those of past generations due to many different reasons. Such reasons can be drawn from any source of this present day, such as daily news reports, newspaper, online articles, etc. I mean, who hasn't feared for the safety of others when they are informed of the local school lock-down that has been recently reported upon television? Or, perhaps, for the well-being of a loved one when he or she has been diagnosed with a live-threatening disease that has only recently been discovered? Who hasn't experienced the small fears that today's daily life can bring about? The answer is no one. This is because people now fear more than they did then.

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  1. How can you revise this so it's 3 words, not 5 (and badly phrased)?
    "due to many different reasons"

    How can you revise this so it's 4 words, not 7?
    "from any source of this present day"

    Go through the entire paragraph and cut, cut, cut. It's still far too wordy.

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