Writing

posted by .

Please grade my ACT writing test on a scale of 1-Please make corrections and give me feedback. By the way, I wrote this essay in 30 minutes.

ACT Test Prompt:
Schools in some states have changed their school calendars so that they are now year-round schools. Advocates of year-round schooling argue that the traditional summer break is a waste of students' time that could other wise be spent learning . Opponents charge that today's students are already overburdened with the stresses of school and need the summer to get a much-needed break. In your view, should the traditional three-month summer vacation from school be maintained?

Essay

Some schools do not have a three-month summer break, but rather an additional three-month of school. Others maintain the three-month summer break. Supporters of year-round school believe that it is better to use the three months for school. Thus, the traditional three-month summer vacation should not be maintained.

A few opponents say that it is wrong to not have summer breaks for students. They think that there should be breaks because students need the rest due stresses at school and the workload. This is incorrect. Students have winter break, spring break and some holidays off, so there is no need for an extended break. Besides, it is believed that summer breaks can cause students to slow down in their academic. Does going to school for an additional three months have an effect on the students? No, but it instead loads them with knowledge,which is good.

Time is of the essence and should be used to learn during summer vacation. For example, if students want to excel in their education, they must commit their time to it. The more time they commit in to English for instance, the better they are with it. Sometimes school subjects are not learned completely, so an additional three months is extremely helpful. Time is key and students should be learning hard during the summer vacation.

It is useless to have summer vacation. Most students are not even resting. Rather, they spend most of their time watching television and playing games. This is a very unhealthy break. Hence, going to school during the summer is a better idea. Schools not only help students gain knowledge, but it also provides classes like physical education for students. Being unhealthy during the summer, does not give a good, fresh start for the oncoming year. Therefore, the three months must be used up in school.

Schools must require students to attend school during the summer. Summer vacation can cause the summer slide-- students forget what they learned previously. In addition it can cause an increase in television watching. With perseverance to work hard during the three-month summer, students should see ideal result both academically and physically.

  • Writing -

    I'd give this a 4, but a weak one. You have all the elements organized well -- thesis, face opponents, explain own case, etc. -- but it's not smooth. That's probably because you wrote it in 30 minutes.

    There are some errors in punctuation which lead to sentence structure problems, including some borderline fragments and run-ons.

    One thing to work on is the prudent use of transitional words and phrases to smooth out the connections (continuation and/or contrast) from one idea to the next.
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/transitions.htm

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. english

    I woul like to review my essay please? Post it. Can you please help me write that essay" A way to decrease your chance of becoming a victim of random ciolence". Hmmm. You have an assignment to write an essay, a teacher offers to review
  2. shakespeare

    ok so i have to summarize 3 important events in act 1 of romeo and Juliet by using a creative way like an email or article or letter, poem, essay, joke, ect. I have to have to be a certain person in the act and be talking to another …
  3. Writing

    8th graders have a writing test coming up and they have to write an expository essay. The biggest problem is, I don't know what that is...help! If you can tell me and also give me an example. Thanks -MC
  4. school

    Hi. My name is Samantha. I'm in the 8th grade. Lots of people have been talking to me abou specialized high school. Can you please give me some information on specialized high school(I mean like what are the good and bad things obout …
  5. College

    My dream is to go to Harvard University. When I grow up I want to become an artist, & creative writer (like writing stories & stuff. Here are some questions I would like to ask you guys. Please answer these questions please I know …
  6. English

    Thank you very much for your corrections. Here are two sentences for you to check. 1) Thank you for your prompt reply. How could I start and finish off my letter addressed to the principal of a high school?
  7. Writing

    Please grade my ACT writing test on a scale of 1-6. Please make corrections and give me feedback. By the way, I wrote this essay in 30 minutes. ACT Test Prompt: Schools in some states have changed their school calendars so that they …
  8. Writing

    Please correct,give feedback,and grade. ACT Prompt Most schools have established honor codes or other rules to prevent students from cheating on exams and other school assignments. Many students admit to cheating, arguing that the …
  9. Writing

    This time I hope I improve. Writing is a skill that must be practiced. In order to be good at writing I must read a lot, right?
  10. Writing

    Please give me an ACT prompt.

More Similar Questions