English Pls Writeacher Help Me by checking my work

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write a news story in inverted-pyramid style. Begin your story with a summary news lead of no more than 20 words and then write a full story using inverted pyramid style. Using the scenario below.

A home at 2481 Santana Avenue was burglarized between the hours of 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. yesterday afternoon. The owner of the home is Dorothy R. Elam, a sixth-grade teacher at Madison Elementary school. She said no one was home at the time. Neighbor said the saw a truck parked in the driveway but thought some repairmen were working at the home. The total loss is estimated at in excess of $8,000. The items stolen from the home include a color television, a videocassette recorder, stereo, sewing machine, computer, 2 pistol and many small kitchen appliances. Also, a stamp collection valued at about $ 1,000, some clothes, silverware and lawn tool were taken. Roger A. Elam, Mrs. Elam husband, died 2 days ago. The robbery occurred while she was attending his funeral at 2:30 p.m. yesterday at the Powell Funeral Chapel, 620 North Park Avenue. Elam died of cancer after a long illness.

Widow reports the burglary of her home at 2481 Santana Avenue while she was out for her husband's funeral.

A neighbor said that she saw a truck park in the drive way of Mr. Elam but thought it was a repairman.
Some of the items stolen from the home include a color television, a videocassette recorder, stereo, sewing machine, computer, 2 pistol and many small kitchen appliances worth $8,000.
Also, a stamp collection valued at about $ 1,000, some clothes, silverware and lawn tool were taken.
This robbery occurred while she was attending his funeral at 2:30 p.m. yesterday at the Powell Funeral Chapel, 620 North Park Avenue. Elam died of cancer after a long illness.

  • English Pls Writeacher Help Me by checking my work -

    Do you NEED to include the exact addresses? Most news reports I hear or read don't do that. They include the street names, and maybe a cross street, but that's about all.

    Read and compare very carefully so you catch all the corrections I made.

    Widow reports the burglary of her home on Santana Avenue while she was away for her husband's funeral.

    A neighbor said that she saw a truck park in the Elams' driveway, but thought it was a repairman.
    Some of the items stolen from the home include a color television, a videocassette recorder, stereo, sewing machine, computer, 2 pistols, and many small kitchen appliances worth $8,000.
    In addition, a stamp collection valued at about $1,000, some clothes, silverware, and lawn tools were taken.
    This robbery occurred while she was attending her husband's funeral yesterday afternoon at the Powell Funeral Chapel on North Park Avenue. Elam died of cancer after a long illness.

  • English Pls Writeacher Help Me by checking my work -

    no my teacher did say anything about the address

    but here is what what put out about this assignment

    Using the first scenario from your lede writing assignment, write a news story in inverted-pyramid style. Begin your story with a summary news lead of no more than 20 words that follows all of the rules of AP style Then write the rest of the story in inverted-pyramid style. Write only one or two short sentences in each paragraph. Use transitions. If you quote someone, punctuate and attribute properly according to the rules AP style.

  • English Pls Writeacher Help Me by checking my work -

    The word 'summary' means you don't keep all the details in.

  • English Pls Writeacher Help Me by checking my work -

    Ok thank you very much.

  • English Pls Writeacher Help Me by checking my work -

    You're welcome.

    =)

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