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A man in your community received a postcard yesterday from his father, who lived in a nearby town and had just returned from a trip. “Please come over so your mother and I can show you pictures of our trip,” the postcard said. “I guess my father wondered why I never came over,” said the son, Jason Gott. His father and mother died several years ago. The postcard that arrived yesterday was sent 30 years ago.

I have to write a focus sentence on this info. it has to only be 1 sentence.
this is what I've written:

A postcard is received by a local man on Monday by his father requesting him to visit him and his mother, however the postcard was sent 30 years ago and the local man's parents are now deceased.

  • English -

    VERY wordy!! Learn to write more concisely.

    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm

    On Monday, a local man received a postcard from his father asking him to visit, but the postcard was sent 30 years ago, and his parents are now dead.

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