english/ help rewording a paragraph :)
posted by Amy .
Hello! I was wondering if anyone could kind of re word this for me? I'm going through an essay that I've just finished writing up, and I was hoping that this part could be reworded? Anyways, thank you ahead of time! :)
Going to school where personal image is a big part of a student’s life can be very nerve racking. American values are often forced upon students and a certain way of life is expected of them. The struggle of fitting in and accepting the cultural background is a major point in both essays.
I have no idea how to revise this without seeing the whole context.
I can post the whole essay, or just the paragraph if that would help... Here's the paragraph:
Going to school where personal image is a big part of a student’s life can be very nerve racking. American values are often forced upon students and a certain way of life is expected of them. The struggle of fitting in and accepting the cultural background is a major point in both essays. In Anzaldúa essay, she reflects on a situation that many people face in a contact zone of many different cultures. She explains how she felt unaccepted by all groups, Americans, Mexicans, and other Spanish speakers. Anzaldúa was accused by various Latinos of a being a Pocho, a cultural traitor. She was also rejected by many Latinos and did not mix well with Americans either. Along with her peers, her teacher gave her a hard time as well. “If you want to be American, speak ‘American’. If you don’t like it, go back to Mexico where you belong” (Anzaldúa, par. 3). Not only did Anzaldúa get ridiculed about her Spanish, but also her English as well! Facing a similar situation, Amy Tan had some troubles in her language as well. At a very young age, she was expected to speak with very important people such as stockbrokers and doctors due to her mother’s inability to speak perfect English. Due to these experiences from her childhood, such as becoming her mother’s translator, made Tan realize the importance of being able to articulate her thoughts well in order to have smoother experiences. Both women come from very different backgrounds, face the same type of problem, but are able to realize that despite what others think or say, that being uncomfortable with themselves is something that needs to change.
If you would like the whole thing, I can do that too. Thank you!
Are the articles' titles and authors' names stated clearly elsewhere? I take it this is not the introduction, right?
No, this isn't my introduction. I do have the authors & their works stated in other paragraphs :)
The only thing I would change in the initial sentences is to hyphenate nerve-racking.
Okay! Great, thank you! :)