I'm on college. this is for English 101.
She just distribute our papers and talk to her if anyone has a problem with grade but there are no remarks on paper and i need to catch up on my next class.
i revised it now with the mistakes that you point out.
about the article. there is no title and author im serious. and she told us that it is ok to use "according to the article"
Better Friend
According to the article, “women have a higher quality when it comes to relationships than men”. In a relationship, men tend to be quiet and less emotional, while women are good listeners and vocal on what they want to say. For many reasons, women are better at handling relationships than men.
First of all, the article says that “women have a deeper relationship than men”. Women are vocal when sharing their problems, and they can talk about everything when they are with their friends. As a result, they develop deeper relationships with each other. While men base their friendship on activities, they can talk about basketball or cars the whole day, but their conversation has limits. Men can’t talk about their problems to each other because that’s the nature of men. According to the article, “men routinely list their spouses as their best friends”. Men rely on women to fulfill their emotional needs.
Also, when it comes to friendship relationships women are more listeners than men. Men are rational; they don’t have time to listen to other people’s problems because they only want to listen to something that will make them feel better. While girls are open minded, they listen to every detail that the other person is saying whether it is a problem or not, and they always give feedbacks.
Finally, women are reliable. According to the article, “men feel their greater support from women”, women are natural cheerers, and they know how they can support a friend. A mother is a perfect example of how reliable a woman can be, she bases her decisions emotionally and always thinks about her family before herself. Women are reliable in that they can help their friends in a heart beat.
To sum up my discussion, women have a higher quality than men when it comes to handling friendships. Both men and women feel closer to females who give support. No one in this world can live without a friend on his or her side whether it is a man or a woman. Friends are important to everyone’s life and they can learn from each other. Everyone needs a friend to be able to enjoy life.
I still don't like this one: "women are more listeners than men." and prefer: "women are better listeners than men." OR "women are much better listeners than men."
not "feedbacks" but "feedback" (singular)
Here's a run-on sentence: "how reliable a woman can be, she bases her decisions " so either a period after "can be. She" or "can be; she bases..."
I still find the following awkward, although I did not mention it before: "women have a higher quality than men" --- perhaps "women are far better than men..."
Much better.
BTW Sra is not Sara(h) but Señora!
Sra (*aka Mme)
fixed. thank you very much. big help Sencra
According to the article, “women have a higher quality when it comes to relationships than men”.<~~That's a fragment, not a whole sentence; and where are the proper capital letters in that title? Also, the ending quotation marks go AFTER the period (once you make this into a whole sentence).
In a relationship, men tend to be quiet and less emotional, while women are good listeners and vocal on<~~choose a better preposition what they want to say. For many reasons, women are better at handling relationships than men. <~~ALL women? Are you absolutely sure? You know this about every single woman on the planet?? This (and just about everything in the rest of your paper) is an example of terribly sweeping generalization: " target="_blank">http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/fallacies.html#5
First of all, the article says that “women have a deeper relationship than men”. <~~placement of quotation marks
...
According to the article, “men routinely list their spouses as their best friends”. <~~placement of quotation marks
I'd give this paper a D. I know you're referring to an article (whose author you don't know), but the generalizations alone make it something I wouldn't take seriously.
First of all, it's great that you revised your paper and made improvements based on feedback. Now, let's address your concerns and make some suggestions.
1. Missing Title and Author: It seems that you mentioned there is no title or author for the article you are referring to. This can happen sometimes, especially if the article is from an online source or a class handout. In such cases, you can simply state that the title and author are not provided or not available. For example, you can write: "According to an article without a specified title or author..."
2. Using "According to the article": It's perfectly acceptable to cite information using phrases like "according to the article" or "the article states that." However, it's generally recommended to provide more specific information when possible. For example, if the article is from a reputable source, you could mention the publication or website it came from. This adds credibility to your argument. If you don't have this information, you can continue using the phrase "according to the article" to attribute the information.
3. Structure and Organization: Your essay starts with a strong statement, followed by three main supporting points. This structure is good for clarity and coherence. However, you can improve the organization by using subheadings to break down your main points. For example, you can use subheadings like "Deeper Relationships," "Listeners vs. Rational Thinkers," and "Reliability." This will make it easier for readers to navigate through your essay and understand your main ideas.
4. Grammar and Sentence Structure: Make sure to proofread your paper for any grammar or sentence structure issues. This will help improve the overall clarity and readability of your essay. Pay attention to punctuation, spelling, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Additionally, consider varying your sentence lengths and structures to add more variety and fluency to your writing.
Remember, your goal is to present your argument clearly and provide evidence from the article to support your claims. Keep revising and improving your essay until it meets your desired standards. Good luck with your next class!