Grammar

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Write one paragraph (150 word minimum) about the most helpful information you have learned from your other second block course on how to make financial decisions. Identify the topic sentence by [] and the clincher by {}.

**Is this correct?


[From my financial class I have learned many important things that will help me in my present state as a college student and in my future.] One thing that I have learned that I feel will really help me is how important my credit is. In my class, I learned that credit is essential to have and to maintain so that I will not have a problem buying my first home or getting a loan in the time of an emergency. I was not taught this in high school, however, I did receive my first credit card at eighteen and I unfortunately was not very responsible with it. Although, I did pay my credit card off my credit is not as good as it should be, however I am working on improving it.{ I now know how important it is to get my credit back in good standings to be able to get my first home as well as emergencies that call for a loan.}

  • Grammar -

    "high school, however, I did" -- use a semicolon before "however"

    "at eighteen and I unfortunately" -- use a comma after "eighteen" and put "unfortunately" right after "and"

    "Although, I did pay my credit card off my credit is" -- move that comma so it's after "off"

    again -- semicolon before "however" in the next sentence

    Your topic sentence is correctly identified, and if by "clincher" you mean the conclusion, then that's correct, too. In your last sentence, though, I'd use "standing" (no -s) and I'd rephrase the last 6 words so they make sense. You don't want good credit so you can get an emergency, do you?? You want good credit soul you can get a loan (a loan for an emergency, perhaps).

    Otherwise, nice job.

  • Grammar -

    "so" (not "soul")!!

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